Intestinal Apocalypse Weekly, December 16, 2003back to archive
In this week's blargh:
- Results from 12/8-14
- Schedule for 12/16-22
- Tentative playoff format/schedule
- Wanted!: Oddsmaker
- 2003 Gas Face Awards: A preview
- Readers speak!
<> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <>
REVISITS CONTINUE UNINTERRUPTED AMIDST MAYORAL RUNOFF, LATINO BOYCOTT, HELLA SHITTY WEATHER
The Committee's month-long revisitation period kicked off Monday the 8th with a visit to Mission stand-by Taqueria San Jose. Trips to Potrero Hill's Chevy's-lil'-buddy Dos Pinas, the pleasantly dry-on-a-rainy-night Las Estrellas in Hayes Valley, and Upper Haight's enigmatic Zona Rosa ensued on staggered days/evenings. (Full disclosure: These taquerias were selected for revisits due to the questionable environment, company, or state in which their fare was devoured the first time around.)
Results:
TAQUERIA SAN JOSE
--> 3.5 mustaches <--
Mission nr. 24th St.
$4.38 - super carne asada
12/08/03
Comments: That price is no misprint; an old favorite that didn't deliver as expected; spice was light years away; a few unfortunate globs of sour cream were on hand to bring down the excellent ingredient mix, tasty tortilla, and generous size; nothing outstanding, yet nothing awful.
DOS PINAS
--> 3.5 mustaches <--
Rhode Island at 16th St.
$6.75 - charbroiled marinated skirt steak
12/10/03
Comments: When rice is the outstanding ingredient, trouble's on tap; aside from dog poo sitting in for steak, what kills a burrito's chances quicker than anything? that's right, cold bites, and they were on parade here; tasty steak, lousy temperature consistency.
LAS ESTRELLAS
--> 3 mustaches <--
Gough btwn. Hayes and Fell
$6.25 - super carne asada
12/12/03
Comments: My, were we way off-base about Las Estrellas 11 months ago - gave it a 4, but enduring suspicions led to our return; no burstage threats, rad refried beans, yup; but, we couldn't forgive the phantom sour cream (ordered, but not tasted), bits of unmelted cheese, zero spice factor, cold bites, and that big-ass leaf of lettuce halfway in.
ZONA ROSA
--> 4 mustaches <--
Haight at Shrader
$7.15 - super spicy steak
12/14/03
Comments: We blew it here back in August by ordering the regular steak...this time around we got the *spicy* steak -- world of difference, hooray; pricey, indeed, but it was a grilled tortilla away from becoming an automatic, top-tier playoff entrant; several standout elements, including bitchin-hot salsa and guacamole, sauciness, and overall temperature; consistent start to finish, a real surprise.
To be revisited in the coming few weeks: Pancho Villa; La Taqueria; La Altena; Chino's; Taq. El Zorro; Gordo; El Gran Taco; Taq. La Paz.
<> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <>
THE WEEK AHEAD
The Committee may be publicly cheered, jeered, or pelted with hot sesos this week at the following locations....
Tu 12/16: Pancho Villa
Th 12/18: La Taqueria (appeared on last week's schedule, yes we know)
Sa 12/20: Gordo
M 12/22: Taq. El Zorro
Subject to change -- especially when you interpret "Subject to" to actually mean, "The likelihood is very strong that this schedule will...."
<> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <>
THUNDEROUS, MASSIVE BURRITO SALVO: THE PLAYOFFS
Qualifying Begins Jan. 6, Probably
Everyone's ramping up for the playoffs in early '04, sure. Except ours won't feature grunting men decked out in pads and super-tight pants pushing each other around in the mud for the chance to say "I'm going to Disneyland."
We're currently brainstorming ideas for our playoff format. The most likely scenario calls for the garden-variety three-round system favored in tennis tournaments and beauty pageants the world over -- although it should be made clear that taquerias will not be competing directly with one another. Eight of ten playoff spots have been secured, so a qualifying round will precede the quarterfinals during which at least six taquerias will vie for the coveted final pair of playoff spots. Confused? Right on, so are we. It'll all become lucid soon.
We crown the champion on Leap Day 2004.
<> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <>
JIMMY THE GREEK'S STILL IN LOCKDOWN -- WE NEED YOU!
Are you a compulsive gambler? Terrific! Or, can you at the very least demonstrate an aptitude for – and understanding of -- basic oddsmaking? E-mail us if you're interested in helping lay odds for our 2004 playoffs. We don't know our 8-5 parlay from our '81 Stingray.
<> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <>
2003 GAS FACE AWARDS PREVIEW
Perhaps next time.
<> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <>
DUCK CALLS: OUR READERS SPEAK!
Response to our introductory newsletter last week was overwhelmingly lukewarm, but we did receive a few reply notes worth sharing....
"Tootin' your own horn, are ya?"
"Thanks for putting me on your gas list!"
"When are you coming to Idaho? We have some excellent Mexican places up here, particularly in north Twin Falls."
"El Gran Taco (on Broadway -- the one we go to weekly) is under new ownership, and boy has the quality gone down the shitter."
"FOIL-WRAPPED LUNCH LOGS pretty much rule."
<> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <>
A detailed explanation of our Five-Mustache Scale™ will appear next time. Sit tight.
Questions, comments, anecdotes, get-me-off-your-damn-list-requests welcome:
sfburritoeater@yahoo.com
yours, in lard,
Beano
- Results from 12/8-14
- Schedule for 12/16-22
- Tentative playoff format/schedule
- Wanted!: Oddsmaker
- 2003 Gas Face Awards: A preview
- Readers speak!
<> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <>
REVISITS CONTINUE UNINTERRUPTED AMIDST MAYORAL RUNOFF, LATINO BOYCOTT, HELLA SHITTY WEATHER
The Committee's month-long revisitation period kicked off Monday the 8th with a visit to Mission stand-by Taqueria San Jose. Trips to Potrero Hill's Chevy's-lil'-buddy Dos Pinas, the pleasantly dry-on-a-rainy-night Las Estrellas in Hayes Valley, and Upper Haight's enigmatic Zona Rosa ensued on staggered days/evenings. (Full disclosure: These taquerias were selected for revisits due to the questionable environment, company, or state in which their fare was devoured the first time around.)
Results:
TAQUERIA SAN JOSE
--> 3.5 mustaches <--
Mission nr. 24th St.
$4.38 - super carne asada
12/08/03
Comments: That price is no misprint; an old favorite that didn't deliver as expected; spice was light years away; a few unfortunate globs of sour cream were on hand to bring down the excellent ingredient mix, tasty tortilla, and generous size; nothing outstanding, yet nothing awful.
DOS PINAS
--> 3.5 mustaches <--
Rhode Island at 16th St.
$6.75 - charbroiled marinated skirt steak
12/10/03
Comments: When rice is the outstanding ingredient, trouble's on tap; aside from dog poo sitting in for steak, what kills a burrito's chances quicker than anything? that's right, cold bites, and they were on parade here; tasty steak, lousy temperature consistency.
LAS ESTRELLAS
--> 3 mustaches <--
Gough btwn. Hayes and Fell
$6.25 - super carne asada
12/12/03
Comments: My, were we way off-base about Las Estrellas 11 months ago - gave it a 4, but enduring suspicions led to our return; no burstage threats, rad refried beans, yup; but, we couldn't forgive the phantom sour cream (ordered, but not tasted), bits of unmelted cheese, zero spice factor, cold bites, and that big-ass leaf of lettuce halfway in.
ZONA ROSA
--> 4 mustaches <--
Haight at Shrader
$7.15 - super spicy steak
12/14/03
Comments: We blew it here back in August by ordering the regular steak...this time around we got the *spicy* steak -- world of difference, hooray; pricey, indeed, but it was a grilled tortilla away from becoming an automatic, top-tier playoff entrant; several standout elements, including bitchin-hot salsa and guacamole, sauciness, and overall temperature; consistent start to finish, a real surprise.
To be revisited in the coming few weeks: Pancho Villa; La Taqueria; La Altena; Chino's; Taq. El Zorro; Gordo; El Gran Taco; Taq. La Paz.
<> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <>
THE WEEK AHEAD
The Committee may be publicly cheered, jeered, or pelted with hot sesos this week at the following locations....
Tu 12/16: Pancho Villa
Th 12/18: La Taqueria (appeared on last week's schedule, yes we know)
Sa 12/20: Gordo
M 12/22: Taq. El Zorro
Subject to change -- especially when you interpret "Subject to" to actually mean, "The likelihood is very strong that this schedule will...."
<> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <>
THUNDEROUS, MASSIVE BURRITO SALVO: THE PLAYOFFS
Qualifying Begins Jan. 6, Probably
Everyone's ramping up for the playoffs in early '04, sure. Except ours won't feature grunting men decked out in pads and super-tight pants pushing each other around in the mud for the chance to say "I'm going to Disneyland."
We're currently brainstorming ideas for our playoff format. The most likely scenario calls for the garden-variety three-round system favored in tennis tournaments and beauty pageants the world over -- although it should be made clear that taquerias will not be competing directly with one another. Eight of ten playoff spots have been secured, so a qualifying round will precede the quarterfinals during which at least six taquerias will vie for the coveted final pair of playoff spots. Confused? Right on, so are we. It'll all become lucid soon.
We crown the champion on Leap Day 2004.
<> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <>
JIMMY THE GREEK'S STILL IN LOCKDOWN -- WE NEED YOU!
Are you a compulsive gambler? Terrific! Or, can you at the very least demonstrate an aptitude for – and understanding of -- basic oddsmaking? E-mail us if you're interested in helping lay odds for our 2004 playoffs. We don't know our 8-5 parlay from our '81 Stingray.
<> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <>
2003 GAS FACE AWARDS PREVIEW
Perhaps next time.
<> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <>
DUCK CALLS: OUR READERS SPEAK!
Response to our introductory newsletter last week was overwhelmingly lukewarm, but we did receive a few reply notes worth sharing....
"Tootin' your own horn, are ya?"
"Thanks for putting me on your gas list!"
"When are you coming to Idaho? We have some excellent Mexican places up here, particularly in north Twin Falls."
"El Gran Taco (on Broadway -- the one we go to weekly) is under new ownership, and boy has the quality gone down the shitter."
"FOIL-WRAPPED LUNCH LOGS pretty much rule."
<> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <>
A detailed explanation of our Five-Mustache Scale™ will appear next time. Sit tight.
Questions, comments, anecdotes, get-me-off-your-damn-list-requests welcome:
sfburritoeater@yahoo.com
yours, in lard,
Beano
