Zero mustaches for intangibility? Really? Such a feat takes some doing in this advanced day and age, but Golden State Market’s taqueria gymnasts nailed the sucktacular dismount off our mustachioed pommel horse with flair and aplomb. Shortcomings? There were many: virtually flavor-free chicken that was in dire need of some sort of marinade or seasoning; equally tasteless Spanish rice that, depending on the bite, simulated the texture of either driftwood or porridge; diced onion and tomato that tasted awkwardly pickled; and, some old-looking/tasting refried beans that may or may not have been cooked around the time fire was discovered. Positive commentary interlude: Flecks of red pepper amidst the salsa roja jacked up the overall spice level, while construction-related complaints were minimal and every bite was a hot bite. But three or four avocado slices can only mollify our panel so much. Clang.