Swish: cheese (8); vegetables (8); spiciness (8)
Shrug: rice (7); temperature (7); burstage abatement (7); size (6); tortilla (6); sauciness (6); ingredient mix (6)
Clang: meat (5); beans (5)
Intangibility bonus: 1 (of 2)

360° Gourmet’s eternal sub-mediocrity begins with its trademark open-top foil wrap. And it’s just a bad idea, unless the initial sight of a steamed and gummy tortilla gets your palate all up in a lather before bite one. The foreman must have dozing on this burrito’s construction site, judging by how some of the foil ended up inside one of the tortilla folds – how exactly does something like this happen? On to this short slab’s flavor...or lack thereof: tough and bland steak; far too harmless whole black beans; facelessly effective Spanish rice; we already broke the news about the tortilla. Despite all that was wrong, we always try to find a surprising silver lining or two, and in this burrito’s case it was the surprising spice, surprisingly thick guacamole, and surprisingly effective grates of Jack cheese. The sour cream inclusion was our panel’s fault, but the fact that it took on the consistency of tahini sauce when it ran into the pico de gallo sure wasn’t. The final couple bites...oh, what the hell does any of this matter? It’s 360° Gourmet. Hardly anybody cares.

Another opportunity for 360° to set the record straight and prove that its burritowork isn’t an overpriced ruse. Another opportunity wasted. Surprisingly chunky, but lacking intimidating length and sheathed in a total joke of a foil wrap, this burrito dripped, ran, cleaved, and dodged considerable boos en route to its resting place at the Bank of Bummer. It cheese shreds were only slightly melted (if at all), while its numerous guacamole-heavy bites were generally less than warm. To make matters more dire, the grilled, yet strangely chewy tortilla didn’t hold up so well, and the whole hind end endured a sodden death, largely due to some poorly drained (black) beans. The counter help was mighty friendly, and a discernable amount of spice landed one or two spot-on punches. But just because we wised up and specifically said “No romaine lettuce!” when ordering couldn’t stop this burrito from sending us home feeling kind of sad.