Slab Slabb and the SlabettesFebruary 2010
February Taqueria Visits
2/28: Ocean Taq. on Divisadero tightens its kung fu grip on seven-mustache mediocrity.
2/22: The seats still swivel and the burritos still disappoint at El Super Burrito.
2/19: Serviceable burritowork. Iffy carpentry analogies. Hella cacti. Our latest visit to El Azteca Taq. has it all.
2/15: It’s a triumph of wrecklessness over recklessness at Taq. El Castillito on Church.
2/12: A potentially great slab parachutes in from El Beach Burrito; sadly, it lands miles from spiciness.
2/8: It’s not OK, Taq. La Alteña! It’s not OK to wedge a fully unmelted cheese slice into a burrito.
2/4: As much as we enjoy Taq. San Francisco, it's burritos like this last one that keep us wondering if the corner burrito shop will ever take home a Slab Scrum championship.
2/1: The Rick Springfield song remains the same at La Tortilla in the Castro: exceptionally friendly kitchen staff, '80s radio hits galore, dead-mediocre burrito.
2/28: Ocean Taq. on Divisadero tightens its kung fu grip on seven-mustache mediocrity.
2/22: The seats still swivel and the burritos still disappoint at El Super Burrito.
2/19: Serviceable burritowork. Iffy carpentry analogies. Hella cacti. Our latest visit to El Azteca Taq. has it all.
2/15: It’s a triumph of wrecklessness over recklessness at Taq. El Castillito on Church.
2/12: A potentially great slab parachutes in from El Beach Burrito; sadly, it lands miles from spiciness.
2/8: It’s not OK, Taq. La Alteña! It’s not OK to wedge a fully unmelted cheese slice into a burrito.
2/4: As much as we enjoy Taq. San Francisco, it's burritos like this last one that keep us wondering if the corner burrito shop will ever take home a Slab Scrum championship.
2/1: The Rick Springfield song remains the same at La Tortilla in the Castro: exceptionally friendly kitchen staff, '80s radio hits galore, dead-mediocre burrito.
Heavy Mustaches: Ten From '09January 2010
Our Top Ten Burritos Of 2009
It so happens that our panel of grumpy prima donnas turned out exactly 100 new burrito reviews in 2009. Many of these burritos were very fine, indeed; six even qualified for inclusion in the Burritoeater Hall of Fame, Brought to You by Procter & Gamble and located in the beautifully prismatic lobby at One Burritoeater Towers (docent-led tours available for a very reasonable fee).
That said, the toppermost of our 2009 burrito poppermost looks like this:
1: THE LITTLE CHIHUAHUA (Lower Haight), 9/23, Fajita Pollo Asado: 9.42 mustaches
All hail the Tiny Dog: Arfarfarfarfarf.
2: GORDO TAQ. (Clement) (Outer Richmond), 11/12, Super Grilled Chicken: 9.08 mustaches
Some taquerias methodically churn out eight-mustache burritos; this place is starting to methodically churn out nine-mustache burritos.
3: LA LAGUNA TAQ. (Bayview), 5/1, Super Pollo a la Plancha: 9.00 mustaches
So rad, it was radical.
3: EL BURRITO EXPRESS (Outer Sunset), 10/17, Breakfast (Chorizo): 9.00 mustaches
Another nine-mustache burrito from the Burrito Train on Taraval, the second in a little over one year's time.
3: EL BURRITO EXPRESS (Western Addition), 11/28, Super Bronco Chile Colorado Beef: 9.00 mustaches
At its worst, everything other than the mix was plenty good; at its best, fuhgettaboutit.
3: PAPALOTE (Western Addition), 12/3, Super Marinated Tofu: 9.00 mustaches
Papalote's marinated tofu: Now officially our favorite meatless burrito in town.
7: TAQ. EL BALAZO (Bayshore), 6/1, Super Chile Relleno: 8.91 mustaches
Word's in from our people downstairs in Archives: At 8.91 mustaches, this was the highest-rated chile relleno slab on Burritoeater record to date.
8: GORDO TAQ. (Inner Sunset), 12/20, Super Beef: 8.83 mustaches
Another Gordo burrito that knew exactly what it was talking about when it stepped up to the mustache-mic.
9: GORDO TAQ. (Clement) (Outer Richmond), 1/3, Super Beef: 8.75 mustaches
See no. 2 above.
9: TAQ. SAN FRANCISCO (Mission), 8/23, Super Carne Asada: 8.75 mustaches
Another tall OMR for the off-Mission mainstay. Rah-rah, etc. etc.
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January Taqueria Visits
1/29: Hot bites, smart construction, and tongue-lashing spice don't guarantee a big and tall mustache rating. Example 1A: Taq. Cazadores.
1/25: You don't think of Russian Hill as a real habanero-friendly neighborhood, but Nick’s Crispy Tacos is apparently out to change that perception.
1/20: It's a whole lotta delicious lard at the "home of the super burritos," El Faro in the Mission.
1/17: Our first burrito-induced shrug attack of the year occurs at one of L'avenida's shadowy back tables.
1/14: Taq. El Farolito takes us down to Texas for sundown, then has us back in the Excelsior by the end of our foiled meal.
1/11: Taq. Chile Verde's chile verde helps the formerly mediocre shop launch itself out of the mid seven-mustache doldrums.
1/7: Our burrito at Pete's Cleaner Taqueria — sorry, Taq. Maná — is pretty good. But only pretty good.
1/3: La Taq. Menudo jumpstarts our burrito-eating decade by making a strong case for joining the Excelsior taqueria elite.
It so happens that our panel of grumpy prima donnas turned out exactly 100 new burrito reviews in 2009. Many of these burritos were very fine, indeed; six even qualified for inclusion in the Burritoeater Hall of Fame, Brought to You by Procter & Gamble and located in the beautifully prismatic lobby at One Burritoeater Towers (docent-led tours available for a very reasonable fee).
That said, the toppermost of our 2009 burrito poppermost looks like this:
1: THE LITTLE CHIHUAHUA (Lower Haight), 9/23, Fajita Pollo Asado: 9.42 mustaches
All hail the Tiny Dog: Arfarfarfarfarf.
2: GORDO TAQ. (Clement) (Outer Richmond), 11/12, Super Grilled Chicken: 9.08 mustaches
Some taquerias methodically churn out eight-mustache burritos; this place is starting to methodically churn out nine-mustache burritos.
3: LA LAGUNA TAQ. (Bayview), 5/1, Super Pollo a la Plancha: 9.00 mustaches
So rad, it was radical.
3: EL BURRITO EXPRESS (Outer Sunset), 10/17, Breakfast (Chorizo): 9.00 mustaches
Another nine-mustache burrito from the Burrito Train on Taraval, the second in a little over one year's time.
3: EL BURRITO EXPRESS (Western Addition), 11/28, Super Bronco Chile Colorado Beef: 9.00 mustaches
At its worst, everything other than the mix was plenty good; at its best, fuhgettaboutit.
3: PAPALOTE (Western Addition), 12/3, Super Marinated Tofu: 9.00 mustaches
Papalote's marinated tofu: Now officially our favorite meatless burrito in town.
7: TAQ. EL BALAZO (Bayshore), 6/1, Super Chile Relleno: 8.91 mustaches
Word's in from our people downstairs in Archives: At 8.91 mustaches, this was the highest-rated chile relleno slab on Burritoeater record to date.
8: GORDO TAQ. (Inner Sunset), 12/20, Super Beef: 8.83 mustaches
Another Gordo burrito that knew exactly what it was talking about when it stepped up to the mustache-mic.
9: GORDO TAQ. (Clement) (Outer Richmond), 1/3, Super Beef: 8.75 mustaches
See no. 2 above.
9: TAQ. SAN FRANCISCO (Mission), 8/23, Super Carne Asada: 8.75 mustaches
Another tall OMR for the off-Mission mainstay. Rah-rah, etc. etc.
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January Taqueria Visits
1/29: Hot bites, smart construction, and tongue-lashing spice don't guarantee a big and tall mustache rating. Example 1A: Taq. Cazadores.
1/25: You don't think of Russian Hill as a real habanero-friendly neighborhood, but Nick’s Crispy Tacos is apparently out to change that perception.
1/20: It's a whole lotta delicious lard at the "home of the super burritos," El Faro in the Mission.
1/17: Our first burrito-induced shrug attack of the year occurs at one of L'avenida's shadowy back tables.
1/14: Taq. El Farolito takes us down to Texas for sundown, then has us back in the Excelsior by the end of our foiled meal.
1/11: Taq. Chile Verde's chile verde helps the formerly mediocre shop launch itself out of the mid seven-mustache doldrums.
1/7: Our burrito at Pete's Cleaner Taqueria — sorry, Taq. Maná — is pretty good. But only pretty good.
1/3: La Taq. Menudo jumpstarts our burrito-eating decade by making a strong case for joining the Excelsior taqueria elite.
We're Having Some Burritos NowDecember 2009
December Taqueria Visits
12/27: We wrapped up another year of San Francisco burrito-eating at one of our favorites, The Little Chihuahua.
12/22: The Iron Cactus, the newest entry in South of Market’s taqueria derby, stumbled out of the gate.
12/20: Gordo Taq. on 9th Ave.: a world of mustaches.
12/18: Wintry-cold bites? White rice aplenty? Edie Brickell rocking the sound system? Where else but Chipotle?
12/15: Long-in-the-tooth El Faro — San Francisco’s oldest burrito brand — kicked down its highest-ever rating at its cavernous 1st St. shop.
12/13: We can only hope our foiled train-wreck at Taq. El Balazo on Mission turns out to be the lowest-rated burrito of the year.
12/10: Fillmore Mexican Grill laced our virtually salsa-free dinner dirigible with two types of beans we didn’t ask for. Hilarity did not ensue, but mediocrity sure did.
12/6: La Parrilla Grill on Folsom: Number 1 on Churroeater.com, number 129 on Burritoeater.com.
12/3: Our favorite meatless burrito in town? Papalote’s marinated tofu slab, a two-time 9.00-mustache qualifier, knows no peer in our book.
12/27: We wrapped up another year of San Francisco burrito-eating at one of our favorites, The Little Chihuahua.
12/22: The Iron Cactus, the newest entry in South of Market’s taqueria derby, stumbled out of the gate.
12/20: Gordo Taq. on 9th Ave.: a world of mustaches.
12/18: Wintry-cold bites? White rice aplenty? Edie Brickell rocking the sound system? Where else but Chipotle?
12/15: Long-in-the-tooth El Faro — San Francisco’s oldest burrito brand — kicked down its highest-ever rating at its cavernous 1st St. shop.
12/13: We can only hope our foiled train-wreck at Taq. El Balazo on Mission turns out to be the lowest-rated burrito of the year.
12/10: Fillmore Mexican Grill laced our virtually salsa-free dinner dirigible with two types of beans we didn’t ask for. Hilarity did not ensue, but mediocrity sure did.
12/6: La Parrilla Grill on Folsom: Number 1 on Churroeater.com, number 129 on Burritoeater.com.
12/3: Our favorite meatless burrito in town? Papalote’s marinated tofu slab, a two-time 9.00-mustache qualifier, knows no peer in our book.
Enjoy a Burrito! Today!November 2009
November Taqueria Visits
11/30: Even unspectacular burritos at La Laguna Taq. still rate eight-and-a-half hairy ones.
11/28: With its own hall of fame-worthy slab over the long holiday weekend, El Burrito Express on Divisadero matched the recent nine-mustache effort of its sibling taqueria on Taraval mustache for mustache.
11/24: La Salsa on Battery goes for 8.75 mustaches; Burritoeater.com’s street cred absorbs another punch in the snout.
11/22: When Southern Californians poke San Francisco’s burrito scene in the ribs, they’re usually railing against mushy rice-dominated slabs like our latest from Taq. Can-cún.
11/17: It was a textbook case of brilliant idea / lunkheaded execution at Taq. Los Coyotes.
11/15: On San Francisco’s short list of character-bereft taquerias, La Fajita Grill knows few peers.
11/12: Some taquerias methodically churn out eight-mustache burritos. Fair enough. Gordo Taq. on Clement is starting to methodically churn out nine-mustache burritos.
11/9: All that was missing from our burrito at La Parrilla Grill on Ocean was a silly halftime show.
11/5: Our week of lousy breakfast burritos lurched ever onward at Taq. La Loma.
11/3: Clangs outnumbered swishes and even shrugs at woeful Rico Mex.
11/30: Even unspectacular burritos at La Laguna Taq. still rate eight-and-a-half hairy ones.
11/28: With its own hall of fame-worthy slab over the long holiday weekend, El Burrito Express on Divisadero matched the recent nine-mustache effort of its sibling taqueria on Taraval mustache for mustache.
11/24: La Salsa on Battery goes for 8.75 mustaches; Burritoeater.com’s street cred absorbs another punch in the snout.
11/22: When Southern Californians poke San Francisco’s burrito scene in the ribs, they’re usually railing against mushy rice-dominated slabs like our latest from Taq. Can-cún.
11/17: It was a textbook case of brilliant idea / lunkheaded execution at Taq. Los Coyotes.
11/15: On San Francisco’s short list of character-bereft taquerias, La Fajita Grill knows few peers.
11/12: Some taquerias methodically churn out eight-mustache burritos. Fair enough. Gordo Taq. on Clement is starting to methodically churn out nine-mustache burritos.
11/9: All that was missing from our burrito at La Parrilla Grill on Ocean was a silly halftime show.
11/5: Our week of lousy breakfast burritos lurched ever onward at Taq. La Loma.
11/3: Clangs outnumbered swishes and even shrugs at woeful Rico Mex.
