Mexicatessens, Mexi-MercadosJune 2008
Today's active lifestyles demand shopping convenience and efficiency. It's like this: You want a burrito. You need Tic-Tacs, or a jar of pickled jalapeños, or perhaps a refill on Brawny. Rejoice, multi-taskers, for San Francisco boasts five taqueria counters inside humble grocery markets.
La Palma Mexicatessen (Mission): This 24th staple wins big on the basis of its name and colorful sign alone, but there's a lot more on offer here than just burritos in the back and grocery-sundries up front: for instance, handmade tortillas, chile rellenos, and a bunch of other prepared foods. Burrito credibility varies.
El Tesoro (Civic Center / Tenderloin): Our one visit (so far) to this relatively new entry on the local taqueria-market scene resulted in a shrug-worthy burrito and one hell of a deal on paper towels.
La Loma Taq. (Portola): Walk through the mid size market to the taqueria counter, where slabular quality has been on the rise our last couple visits.
Taq. Miraloma (Mira Loma): The claim to fame at this hilltop shop is how management has boldly bucked grammatical convention by taking two separate words ("Mira" and "Loma") and turning them into one word ("Miraloma") in the taqueria-market's name. Gutsy move.
Don Chuy's Mexi-Mercado (Excelsior): We made our first visit to this tiny neighborhood market last month, only because we just learned about it last month. Verdict: Don Chuy's jumbo burrito is not for the faint of tummy.
<> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <>
June Taqueria Visits
6/28: El Burrito Express on Taraval examined its immediate predecessors on the Burritoeater calendar, donned its fiercest camouflage sleeveless T, and bellowed, Enough of these soft-handed slabs! Manly result: nine mustaches.
6/25: Our third letdown in seven days occurred at Dos Piñas Taq., site of 2007’s highest-rated burrito.
6/22: We were hoping Green Chile Kitchen would come through with its third consecutive big-mustache effort, in turn cementing its spot among the local taqueria elite. Well, that plan got shot all to hell.
6/19: We ordered a super burrito at the black-sheep Taq. El Castillito, but we somehow ended up with a souper burrito. Ghastly.
6/16: It was mega-mustachioed business as usual at Papalote on Fulton.
6/9: Pasilla Mexican Grill sent our panel’s mustachometer flying into the mid-eights. And to think we were expecting another Financial District clunkfest.
6/6: We enjoyed a fine Taq. El Balazo burrito while the staff at the adjacent car wash gussied up our vintage Lamborghini, purchased recently with Burritoeater.com's advertising revenue windfall. Keep clicking, people!
6/2: The first month of summer got going with pillowy tufts of melted cheese, booming spice, and Lilliputian seating at the new Taq. Reina’s in Crocker-Amazon.
La Palma Mexicatessen (Mission): This 24th staple wins big on the basis of its name and colorful sign alone, but there's a lot more on offer here than just burritos in the back and grocery-sundries up front: for instance, handmade tortillas, chile rellenos, and a bunch of other prepared foods. Burrito credibility varies.
El Tesoro (Civic Center / Tenderloin): Our one visit (so far) to this relatively new entry on the local taqueria-market scene resulted in a shrug-worthy burrito and one hell of a deal on paper towels.
La Loma Taq. (Portola): Walk through the mid size market to the taqueria counter, where slabular quality has been on the rise our last couple visits.
Taq. Miraloma (Mira Loma): The claim to fame at this hilltop shop is how management has boldly bucked grammatical convention by taking two separate words ("Mira" and "Loma") and turning them into one word ("Miraloma") in the taqueria-market's name. Gutsy move.
Don Chuy's Mexi-Mercado (Excelsior): We made our first visit to this tiny neighborhood market last month, only because we just learned about it last month. Verdict: Don Chuy's jumbo burrito is not for the faint of tummy.
<> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <>
June Taqueria Visits
6/28: El Burrito Express on Taraval examined its immediate predecessors on the Burritoeater calendar, donned its fiercest camouflage sleeveless T, and bellowed, Enough of these soft-handed slabs! Manly result: nine mustaches.
6/25: Our third letdown in seven days occurred at Dos Piñas Taq., site of 2007’s highest-rated burrito.
6/22: We were hoping Green Chile Kitchen would come through with its third consecutive big-mustache effort, in turn cementing its spot among the local taqueria elite. Well, that plan got shot all to hell.
6/19: We ordered a super burrito at the black-sheep Taq. El Castillito, but we somehow ended up with a souper burrito. Ghastly.
6/16: It was mega-mustachioed business as usual at Papalote on Fulton.
6/9: Pasilla Mexican Grill sent our panel’s mustachometer flying into the mid-eights. And to think we were expecting another Financial District clunkfest.
6/6: We enjoyed a fine Taq. El Balazo burrito while the staff at the adjacent car wash gussied up our vintage Lamborghini, purchased recently with Burritoeater.com's advertising revenue windfall. Keep clicking, people!
6/2: The first month of summer got going with pillowy tufts of melted cheese, booming spice, and Lilliputian seating at the new Taq. Reina’s in Crocker-Amazon.
Our Onslaught Lurches OnMay 2008
This isn't the first time we've used that title for a monthly Blargh. And it probably won't be the last.
<> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <>
May Taqueria Visits
5/29: A top-flight ingredient mix usually ensures all-hot, all-the-time burritowork. Not at Taq. El Taco Loco. Peculiar.
5/23: El Norteño’s decision to go light on the salsa nearly dropped it out of our top 20. Risky move by the celebrated slabwagon.
5/21: Excitement surrounding our return trip to Taq. Vallarta was roundly scuttled by a sludgy beanfeast of mediocrity.
5/17: Jasmin’s won’t be taking home any Slabbys at year’s end, but its burritowork displayed surprisingly sharp intangibility.
5/12: Despite boasting one of the finest business names in town, Don Chuy’s Mexi-Mercado failed to produce us a champ slab.
5/9: It was nuttin’ but mutton for us at Mexico DF’s front-of-house taqueria counter.
5/5: Sadly, Cinco de Mayo Taq.’s fortunes weren't so lucrative on its namesake holiday.
5/1: The El Metate burrito stormed forth with mustachioed purpose, as if making up for lost time and poor ratings these last five years.
<> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <>
May Taqueria Visits
5/29: A top-flight ingredient mix usually ensures all-hot, all-the-time burritowork. Not at Taq. El Taco Loco. Peculiar.
5/23: El Norteño’s decision to go light on the salsa nearly dropped it out of our top 20. Risky move by the celebrated slabwagon.
5/21: Excitement surrounding our return trip to Taq. Vallarta was roundly scuttled by a sludgy beanfeast of mediocrity.
5/17: Jasmin’s won’t be taking home any Slabbys at year’s end, but its burritowork displayed surprisingly sharp intangibility.
5/12: Despite boasting one of the finest business names in town, Don Chuy’s Mexi-Mercado failed to produce us a champ slab.
5/9: It was nuttin’ but mutton for us at Mexico DF’s front-of-house taqueria counter.
5/5: Sadly, Cinco de Mayo Taq.’s fortunes weren't so lucrative on its namesake holiday.
5/1: The El Metate burrito stormed forth with mustachioed purpose, as if making up for lost time and poor ratings these last five years.
Rancho RelaxoApril 2008
It's not like we think of taquerias as day spas that supply customers with horchata and grilled tortillas rather than herbal tea and hot towel compresses. But isn't it a bummer when the simple act of getting a burrito turns into an exercise in stress management?
On a recent dunchtime visit to Glen Park's notorious maelstrom of a burrito shop, La Corneta Taq., we were faced with that exact question, even at the supposedly off-peak time of 3:30 P.M. The answer was easy enough: Yes, it's a bummer, Jim.
Scenes from an informal Mexican restaurant in Glen Park: lengthy line; no available seating, not even at the window counter; having to dictate to a member of La Corneta's burrito production team - in an unnaturally raised voice in order to be heard above the room's din, from about 12 feet away - what we want and don't want in our foiled food; and finally, seeing our signed, sealed, but undelivered burrito waiting for us next to the cash register for at least three or four minutes.
Sweat on the brow, rising blood pressure in the veins, panic in the burritoplace. It's sick, and it's wrong.
Are we perhaps a bit overly sensitive to certain raucous and systemically disheveled food service environments? Well, maybe. Are we poncey prima donnas? No! Examining a dozen or more aspects of a burrito time in and time out requires more concentration than an eight-foot putt, and we all know how bent out of shape dickering golfers can get when someone in the gallery even scratches their chin.
Which San Francisco taquerias qualify as the most frenzied? La Corneta's Glen Park location certainly leads the pack, with Papalote's begging-for-expansion Mission location and El Tesoro not far behind. Mission St.'s Taq. Can-cún and Taq. El Castillito also surely rate, but not for inefficiency, a messy ordering system, or lack of a waiting area / table space as much as the minor likelihood of a little gunplay coming between you and that delicious 8.50-mustache slab under your nose.
The most easy-going places in town? If you haven't experienced the slowly waving olive leaves and pleather recliners at South of Market's Mexico au Parc, you ought to, even though we're making up that bit about the olive leaves and recliners to merely underscore how relaxing Mexico au Parc's dining room really is. Elsewhere, the masters of efficiency and friendliness at Taq. San Francisco are also way pro at producing an angst-free taqueria experience for customers, something that contrasts all too sharply with the Mexican futbol announcer on the taqueria's television who somehow takes the monosyllabic word goal and turns it into a 30-second sportsgasm.
Had a particularly easy or rough go of it lately in those pre-burrito moments at the taqueria? Let us know. Otherwise, get back to work on your business plan for that taqueria-and-spa concern you're hoping to open on 24th St. in Noe Valley next spring. Noonan!
<> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <>
April Taqueria Visits
4/28: Taq. El Castillito. There is no substitute.
4/26: Its complete aversion to spice intact, La Parrilla Grill in North Beach seemingly defied math. Just gave it the finger.
4/22: The Little Chihuahua? Arfarfarfarfarfarfdeliciousburritowoofwoofwoofwoofwoofwoof.
4/18: It’s looking as if Herbert’s Mexican Grill may not be Union Square’s flavor savior after all, given the precipitous ratings drop it sustained on our second visit.
4/15: Despite its middling mustache rating, Nayarit Taq. is still a terrific stop before those gun shows and Dickens fairs at the nearby Cow Palace.
4/11: More sauced than a crowd of gregarious back-slappers stumbling around the buffet at an Elks Lodge “function,” La Playa Taq.’s delicious breakfast burrito got it done right.
4/9: Faceless, 7.67-mustache adequacy was the order of the evening at Fillmore Mexican Grill.
4/7: We’re baffled as to how one (and only one) solitary bean lands inside a burrito that ought to contain many, many more. But Tacos El Tonayense on Harrison and 14th St. somehow pulled it off.
4/5: Clearly, breakfast is not La Fonda’s strong suit.
4/2: We went the fried and meatless route at Los Hermanos, where we tossed a chile relleno slab under our white-hot light and bit/chewed/mulled a few minutes of the night away.
On a recent dunchtime visit to Glen Park's notorious maelstrom of a burrito shop, La Corneta Taq., we were faced with that exact question, even at the supposedly off-peak time of 3:30 P.M. The answer was easy enough: Yes, it's a bummer, Jim.
Scenes from an informal Mexican restaurant in Glen Park: lengthy line; no available seating, not even at the window counter; having to dictate to a member of La Corneta's burrito production team - in an unnaturally raised voice in order to be heard above the room's din, from about 12 feet away - what we want and don't want in our foiled food; and finally, seeing our signed, sealed, but undelivered burrito waiting for us next to the cash register for at least three or four minutes.
Sweat on the brow, rising blood pressure in the veins, panic in the burritoplace. It's sick, and it's wrong.
Are we perhaps a bit overly sensitive to certain raucous and systemically disheveled food service environments? Well, maybe. Are we poncey prima donnas? No! Examining a dozen or more aspects of a burrito time in and time out requires more concentration than an eight-foot putt, and we all know how bent out of shape dickering golfers can get when someone in the gallery even scratches their chin.
Which San Francisco taquerias qualify as the most frenzied? La Corneta's Glen Park location certainly leads the pack, with Papalote's begging-for-expansion Mission location and El Tesoro not far behind. Mission St.'s Taq. Can-cún and Taq. El Castillito also surely rate, but not for inefficiency, a messy ordering system, or lack of a waiting area / table space as much as the minor likelihood of a little gunplay coming between you and that delicious 8.50-mustache slab under your nose.
The most easy-going places in town? If you haven't experienced the slowly waving olive leaves and pleather recliners at South of Market's Mexico au Parc, you ought to, even though we're making up that bit about the olive leaves and recliners to merely underscore how relaxing Mexico au Parc's dining room really is. Elsewhere, the masters of efficiency and friendliness at Taq. San Francisco are also way pro at producing an angst-free taqueria experience for customers, something that contrasts all too sharply with the Mexican futbol announcer on the taqueria's television who somehow takes the monosyllabic word goal and turns it into a 30-second sportsgasm.
Had a particularly easy or rough go of it lately in those pre-burrito moments at the taqueria? Let us know. Otherwise, get back to work on your business plan for that taqueria-and-spa concern you're hoping to open on 24th St. in Noe Valley next spring. Noonan!
<> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <>
April Taqueria Visits
4/28: Taq. El Castillito. There is no substitute.
4/26: Its complete aversion to spice intact, La Parrilla Grill in North Beach seemingly defied math. Just gave it the finger.
4/22: The Little Chihuahua? Arfarfarfarfarfarfdeliciousburritowoofwoofwoofwoofwoofwoof.
4/18: It’s looking as if Herbert’s Mexican Grill may not be Union Square’s flavor savior after all, given the precipitous ratings drop it sustained on our second visit.
4/15: Despite its middling mustache rating, Nayarit Taq. is still a terrific stop before those gun shows and Dickens fairs at the nearby Cow Palace.
4/11: More sauced than a crowd of gregarious back-slappers stumbling around the buffet at an Elks Lodge “function,” La Playa Taq.’s delicious breakfast burrito got it done right.
4/9: Faceless, 7.67-mustache adequacy was the order of the evening at Fillmore Mexican Grill.
4/7: We’re baffled as to how one (and only one) solitary bean lands inside a burrito that ought to contain many, many more. But Tacos El Tonayense on Harrison and 14th St. somehow pulled it off.
4/5: Clearly, breakfast is not La Fonda’s strong suit.
4/2: We went the fried and meatless route at Los Hermanos, where we tossed a chile relleno slab under our white-hot light and bit/chewed/mulled a few minutes of the night away.
Enjoy Burritos. Enjoy Life.March 2008
Have you seen the handful of new photos on our splash page? View the slideshow of occasionally mustachioed nuttery by simply reloading/refreshing the page. Great fun.
In other news, there is no other news.
<> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <>
March Taqueria Visits
3/31: We may have been the only customers in Taq. Castillo on Mason, but that just meant that we had both the deliciousness and the rollicking Mexican tuba-pop all to ourselves.
3/26: Chino’s Taq. made the great leap forward from offensively wretched to simply dull.
3/24: Mere steps across the Embarcadero from where we’d been force-fed a clunker two days prior at Taq. Pancho Villa, Rubio’s added insult to injury with a 5.67-mustache catastrophe. Rough going in those parts lately.
3/22: It was sunny outdoor seating, pigeons galore, and an atrociously built burrito at Taq. Pancho Villa on the Embarcadero.
3/20: Maya (Next Door) could have scored a nine-mustache all-timer, had its kitchen added even a modicum of vegetabular content. But, not a trace was found.
3/15: Glen Park’s La Corneta Taq. managed to survive clunking cheesework and ring up eight mustaches.
3/11: Los Compadres’ latest slabular concoction was a direct product of the all-or-nothing school: a whole lotta swishes and way too many clangs, without a shrug in sight.
3/8: There’s a new Taq. El Castillito in town, and it’s as respectably mustachioed as any Sheriff you’ll ever find.
3/4: We expected little more than location, location, location at Union Square’s newest slabular specialist, Herbert’s Mexican Grill. But in the end, we were thrilled by mustaches, mustaches, mustaches. So to speak.
3/1: Taq. San Francisco’s cheese-loaded chile relleno slab provided more high-scoring delight at the corner of 24th and York Sts.
In other news, there is no other news.
<> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <>
March Taqueria Visits
3/31: We may have been the only customers in Taq. Castillo on Mason, but that just meant that we had both the deliciousness and the rollicking Mexican tuba-pop all to ourselves.
3/26: Chino’s Taq. made the great leap forward from offensively wretched to simply dull.
3/24: Mere steps across the Embarcadero from where we’d been force-fed a clunker two days prior at Taq. Pancho Villa, Rubio’s added insult to injury with a 5.67-mustache catastrophe. Rough going in those parts lately.
3/22: It was sunny outdoor seating, pigeons galore, and an atrociously built burrito at Taq. Pancho Villa on the Embarcadero.
3/20: Maya (Next Door) could have scored a nine-mustache all-timer, had its kitchen added even a modicum of vegetabular content. But, not a trace was found.
3/15: Glen Park’s La Corneta Taq. managed to survive clunking cheesework and ring up eight mustaches.
3/11: Los Compadres’ latest slabular concoction was a direct product of the all-or-nothing school: a whole lotta swishes and way too many clangs, without a shrug in sight.
3/8: There’s a new Taq. El Castillito in town, and it’s as respectably mustachioed as any Sheriff you’ll ever find.
3/4: We expected little more than location, location, location at Union Square’s newest slabular specialist, Herbert’s Mexican Grill. But in the end, we were thrilled by mustaches, mustaches, mustaches. So to speak.
3/1: Taq. San Francisco’s cheese-loaded chile relleno slab provided more high-scoring delight at the corner of 24th and York Sts.
