Burrito ObscuroOctober 2005
Get your lead boots on. Burritoeater’s full-blown media blitz is kicking into overdrive.
In the wake of widespread plaudits from influential local blogs following Burritoeater’s June launch, it’s time we indulged in some proactive promotion of our own. We recently hit area newsstands with a San Francisco Bay Guardian feature that acts as an armchair tour of a few of this city’s most offbeat taquerias. It begins (and conveniently, ends) on page 34 of the print edition, wedged between various rants against pretty much all forms of local, state, and federal government, and Will York’s sharp Full Circle column championing early Funkadelic records.
Check back this autumn as we further exploit the strange realm known as “print media” with a feature in a nationally distributed magazine, as well as potentially exclusive interviews with a pair of internationally respected daily papers with the word Times in their names.
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Recent taqueria visits:
10/30: Few taquerias inspire us to describe their burritowork as “bangin’,” but that’s generally the case with Taq. El Castillito on Church. Bangin’ burritowork. We said it. Environmentally conscious, to boot.
10/28: Taste-deficient dead weight was unfortunately the order of the day at Taq. Gaby & Liz, the latest burrito truck to drop anchor next to a San Francisco curb.
10/26: You can’t always get what you want, and you certainly can’t get rice at Nick’s Crispy Tacos. But this uncrispy non-taco did not bum us out, as we imagined it might.
10/24: Long the butt of the burrito community’s running joke about disreputable taquerias, the Marina might be getting its slabs in order, once and for all. Another unlikely hero in this potential sea change: Andalé.
10/21: We hung our meat-eating cap on the hat rack and went veggie at Azteca.
10/19: We woke up earlier than usual to give Tlaloc Sabor Mexicano’s breakfast burrito a try, and they rewarded us by practically putting us right back to sleep.
10/17: A hearty “blech” to Las Estrellas for the curdled sour cream-laced bilge they foisted upon us. Disgraceful.
10/15: Criminy, we dread Chino’s Taq.
10/12: Next time, it’ll have to be something other than al pastor at Taq. El Norteño.
10/10: Yogi Berra as a San Francisco burrito? Try Dos Amigos Taq. on Geary near Jones.
10/8: Taq. Baja California’s crafty business cards would suggest it’s a food-eat-food world. But if the human-powered algorithm that is Burritoeater’s 10-Mustache Scale has any pull, they won’t be taking home any civic honors.
10/6: Outland food-blimp purveyor El Burrito Express followed the tasty cue of its Western Addition counterpart. 8.67 mustaches, everybody wins.
10/4: With a little more heat applied, the El Azteca Taq. burrito lands in coveted eight-mustache territory. Instead, it’s high sevens and that nagging feeling of what could have been.
10/1: Saturday night’s alright for slabbing at North Beach’s Taq. El Zorro.
In the wake of widespread plaudits from influential local blogs following Burritoeater’s June launch, it’s time we indulged in some proactive promotion of our own. We recently hit area newsstands with a San Francisco Bay Guardian feature that acts as an armchair tour of a few of this city’s most offbeat taquerias. It begins (and conveniently, ends) on page 34 of the print edition, wedged between various rants against pretty much all forms of local, state, and federal government, and Will York’s sharp Full Circle column championing early Funkadelic records.
Check back this autumn as we further exploit the strange realm known as “print media” with a feature in a nationally distributed magazine, as well as potentially exclusive interviews with a pair of internationally respected daily papers with the word Times in their names.
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Recent taqueria visits:
10/30: Few taquerias inspire us to describe their burritowork as “bangin’,” but that’s generally the case with Taq. El Castillito on Church. Bangin’ burritowork. We said it. Environmentally conscious, to boot.
10/28: Taste-deficient dead weight was unfortunately the order of the day at Taq. Gaby & Liz, the latest burrito truck to drop anchor next to a San Francisco curb.
10/26: You can’t always get what you want, and you certainly can’t get rice at Nick’s Crispy Tacos. But this uncrispy non-taco did not bum us out, as we imagined it might.
10/24: Long the butt of the burrito community’s running joke about disreputable taquerias, the Marina might be getting its slabs in order, once and for all. Another unlikely hero in this potential sea change: Andalé.
10/21: We hung our meat-eating cap on the hat rack and went veggie at Azteca.
10/19: We woke up earlier than usual to give Tlaloc Sabor Mexicano’s breakfast burrito a try, and they rewarded us by practically putting us right back to sleep.
10/17: A hearty “blech” to Las Estrellas for the curdled sour cream-laced bilge they foisted upon us. Disgraceful.
10/15: Criminy, we dread Chino’s Taq.
10/12: Next time, it’ll have to be something other than al pastor at Taq. El Norteño.
10/10: Yogi Berra as a San Francisco burrito? Try Dos Amigos Taq. on Geary near Jones.
10/8: Taq. Baja California’s crafty business cards would suggest it’s a food-eat-food world. But if the human-powered algorithm that is Burritoeater’s 10-Mustache Scale has any pull, they won’t be taking home any civic honors.
10/6: Outland food-blimp purveyor El Burrito Express followed the tasty cue of its Western Addition counterpart. 8.67 mustaches, everybody wins.
10/4: With a little more heat applied, the El Azteca Taq. burrito lands in coveted eight-mustache territory. Instead, it’s high sevens and that nagging feeling of what could have been.
10/1: Saturday night’s alright for slabbing at North Beach’s Taq. El Zorro.
Up Slabwagon PeriscopeSeptember 2005
People send us e-mail. They stop us on the sidewalk. The question’s always the same: “What’s up with burrito wagons?”
For the uninitiated, a burrito wagon (a.k.a. taco truck, a.k.a. roach coach) is a catering truck whose menu consists of typical taqueria fare. Since these porta-kitchens offer their food exclusively on a take-out basis, you’re generally on your own as to where and how you dine – you can choose to eat amidst varying degrees of comfort (home, office, perhaps a nearby bar) or discomfort (curbside, on a broken glass-strewn sidewalk, leaning against a chain-link fence). In this way, burrito wagons hold great appeal for some, and very little for others.
A distinct sub-culture within the greater realm of informal Mexican dining, burrito wagons can be a mobile offering of an existing brick-and-mortar location, or just as often, a stand-alone cottage business. Either way, they’re as unpretentious as food service gets. Expect paper plates, a water spigot on the side of the truck, and a measly $4.75 - $5.50 price tag for a super burrito.
The Burritoeater research staff has trawled high and low throughout San Francisco, using only the most sophisticated analog technology* to track down each of these slab-shaping, four-wheeled contraptions. The latest findings put the total burrito truck count at 10. Listed in order of Burritoeater preference:
Tacos El Tonayense, Mission (Harrison/22nd): Our favorite mobile burrito purveyor in town, several years running. How it’s always outdone the other two nearby Tonayense trucks, who knows.
Tacos El Molcajete, Oceanview: The new punk on the block. Most San Franciscans may require a GPS to find it. Totally worth the effort, we think.
El Gallo Giro, Mission: Any slabwagon in the Mission is bound to operate under the Tonayense trinity’s considerable shadow. Still, El Gallo Giro should not be ignored.
Tacos El Tonayense, Mission (Shotwell/16th): Here’s that chain-link fence we mentioned earlier. Nice burritos, though.
Los Compadres, Financial Dist. / Embarcadero: Reliably delicious, and Embarcadero adjacent for convenient bayside budget dining.
Tacos El Tonayense, Mission (Harrison/19th): It may carry the lowest OMR among the three Tonayense trucks, but that’s like saying Larry was a bigger stooge than either Moe or Curly.
Tacos San Buena, South of Market / Mission Bay: Enjoy a fine and cheap burrito, then go burn the rest of your paycheck on some plush couch at Limn. You’re already in their parking lot at Tacos San Buena.
La Pachanguera, South of Market: The burritos aren’t outstanding, but we hear the dude’s Cuban sandwiches sure are.
Tacos Santana, Bayview: Mighty convenient if you have business to take care of out at the Southeast Water Pollution Control Plant.
El Norteño, South of Market: Heavy on Hall of Justice clientele. Light on actual burrito quality.
Know of another burrito wagon in town? Share your secret, become a Burritoeater informer: tips@burritoeater.com
* 2001 MUNI map; small notepad; ink pen
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Recent reviews:
9/28: We were happy to do the safely salty slab salute at sweat pants-happy Los Hermanos, where we were the only ones in the place who hadn’t just finished a workout.
9/26: With a name like Bur-Eat-Os, we expect lameness every time we visit. But their burritowork always surprises us with its faceless adequacy.
9/24: That two-slice pileup we got sucked into on the Unmelted Cheese Turnpike was no fun at all. Justice prevailed: Taq. La Alteña was found at fault.
9/22: The flummoxfest never stops at Dos Piñas. Not in the morning, not in the afternoon, not in the evening.
9/20: Taq. Fiesta Taco’s eggs may not take home the coveted Best Scramble award, but their morning slabwork still merits a civic commendation of some sort.
9/18: A real treat on Treat St., where Salsa Taq. kicked down the first eight-mustache slab of the month.
9/16: The inaugural appearance of “cahoots” on this site isn’t a pleasant one as we examine our inglorious burrito-eating experience at El Metate.
9/14: Taq. Zapata. 7.42 mustaches. Hmph.
9/11: Quite a comedown from earlier times at El Cachanilla, when the burritos were rhino-huge, full of winning meat, and hot all over.
9/9: We gave beans the night off at Pancho’s on Geary, and the whole thing worked out pretty well for everyone.
9/7: Even though Taq. Girasol at SFSU calls their super burrito the “La Paz,” it begat visions of the Canadian Midwest, rather than Bolivia.
9/5: We had ourselves a seat facing west at Zona Rosa on Labor Day, where we rumbled our way through a real saucy one.
9/1: Don’t bother leaving the meter running for a burrito at Cabbies Burger, where the lettuce in inescapable.
For the uninitiated, a burrito wagon (a.k.a. taco truck, a.k.a. roach coach) is a catering truck whose menu consists of typical taqueria fare. Since these porta-kitchens offer their food exclusively on a take-out basis, you’re generally on your own as to where and how you dine – you can choose to eat amidst varying degrees of comfort (home, office, perhaps a nearby bar) or discomfort (curbside, on a broken glass-strewn sidewalk, leaning against a chain-link fence). In this way, burrito wagons hold great appeal for some, and very little for others.
A distinct sub-culture within the greater realm of informal Mexican dining, burrito wagons can be a mobile offering of an existing brick-and-mortar location, or just as often, a stand-alone cottage business. Either way, they’re as unpretentious as food service gets. Expect paper plates, a water spigot on the side of the truck, and a measly $4.75 - $5.50 price tag for a super burrito.
The Burritoeater research staff has trawled high and low throughout San Francisco, using only the most sophisticated analog technology* to track down each of these slab-shaping, four-wheeled contraptions. The latest findings put the total burrito truck count at 10. Listed in order of Burritoeater preference:
Tacos El Tonayense, Mission (Harrison/22nd): Our favorite mobile burrito purveyor in town, several years running. How it’s always outdone the other two nearby Tonayense trucks, who knows.
Tacos El Molcajete, Oceanview: The new punk on the block. Most San Franciscans may require a GPS to find it. Totally worth the effort, we think.
El Gallo Giro, Mission: Any slabwagon in the Mission is bound to operate under the Tonayense trinity’s considerable shadow. Still, El Gallo Giro should not be ignored.
Tacos El Tonayense, Mission (Shotwell/16th): Here’s that chain-link fence we mentioned earlier. Nice burritos, though.
Los Compadres, Financial Dist. / Embarcadero: Reliably delicious, and Embarcadero adjacent for convenient bayside budget dining.
Tacos El Tonayense, Mission (Harrison/19th): It may carry the lowest OMR among the three Tonayense trucks, but that’s like saying Larry was a bigger stooge than either Moe or Curly.
Tacos San Buena, South of Market / Mission Bay: Enjoy a fine and cheap burrito, then go burn the rest of your paycheck on some plush couch at Limn. You’re already in their parking lot at Tacos San Buena.
La Pachanguera, South of Market: The burritos aren’t outstanding, but we hear the dude’s Cuban sandwiches sure are.
Tacos Santana, Bayview: Mighty convenient if you have business to take care of out at the Southeast Water Pollution Control Plant.
El Norteño, South of Market: Heavy on Hall of Justice clientele. Light on actual burrito quality.
Know of another burrito wagon in town? Share your secret, become a Burritoeater informer: tips@burritoeater.com
* 2001 MUNI map; small notepad; ink pen
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Recent reviews:
9/28: We were happy to do the safely salty slab salute at sweat pants-happy Los Hermanos, where we were the only ones in the place who hadn’t just finished a workout.
9/26: With a name like Bur-Eat-Os, we expect lameness every time we visit. But their burritowork always surprises us with its faceless adequacy.
9/24: That two-slice pileup we got sucked into on the Unmelted Cheese Turnpike was no fun at all. Justice prevailed: Taq. La Alteña was found at fault.
9/22: The flummoxfest never stops at Dos Piñas. Not in the morning, not in the afternoon, not in the evening.
9/20: Taq. Fiesta Taco’s eggs may not take home the coveted Best Scramble award, but their morning slabwork still merits a civic commendation of some sort.
9/18: A real treat on Treat St., where Salsa Taq. kicked down the first eight-mustache slab of the month.
9/16: The inaugural appearance of “cahoots” on this site isn’t a pleasant one as we examine our inglorious burrito-eating experience at El Metate.
9/14: Taq. Zapata. 7.42 mustaches. Hmph.
9/11: Quite a comedown from earlier times at El Cachanilla, when the burritos were rhino-huge, full of winning meat, and hot all over.
9/9: We gave beans the night off at Pancho’s on Geary, and the whole thing worked out pretty well for everyone.
9/7: Even though Taq. Girasol at SFSU calls their super burrito the “La Paz,” it begat visions of the Canadian Midwest, rather than Bolivia.
9/5: We had ourselves a seat facing west at Zona Rosa on Labor Day, where we rumbled our way through a real saucy one.
9/1: Don’t bother leaving the meter running for a burrito at Cabbies Burger, where the lettuce in inescapable.
BurritophiliaAugust 2005
The vaunted Burritoeater/Burritophile summit occurred the other week at Taq. Reina’s, and not even all the fair-to-midlin slabs around the table could sully the sharp dialogue between four burrito obsessives. We can’t recommend Dan, Cate, and Aaron’s excellent site enough, and it’s not just because they’re nice people who chew with their mouths closed.
For one thing, Burritophile extends its taqueria scope well beyond San Francisco’s cloistered borders (Winnoski, Vermont!), and for another thing, if you’re bummed that Burritoeater is exclusively a one-jerk show and feel the need to share with the world your opinions on some burrito purveyor in someplace, U.S.A., take a second to register with their site and start penning your own screeds. If all that isn’t enticement enough, Dan’s also written some fantastic essays on such tricky topics as South American burritos and everyone’s least favorite diet burrito surrogate, the wrap. If you’re able to construct complete sentences while avoiding grave errors with possessive verbs and gerunds, then put the “u” in user and help build their review archive. We did.
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8/30: And out of nowhere comes Taq. Express to assume the top spot on Burritoeater’s mustache chart. We’ll return again this fall to assess any fluke factor. For now, they’re the real deal.
8/28: Of the four burrito shops that line Mission St. in the Excelsior, Taq. La Menudo has the copper medal all sewn up, in our book.
8/24: We think Taq. El Toro’s mean blimpwork gives its parental figure Pancho Villa the burrito beatdown.
8/22: Judged on appearance alone, the Taq. Chile Verde burrito looked like a strong candidate for the checkered flag. But once the unfoiling got underway, the whole thing just skidded into the ditch.
8/20: Got jury duty soon? Make that day even more of a drag by hitting Taco Rico.
8/18: La Mexicana may have gotten Zona Rosa’d at some point recently, and the Tenderloin may be a better place for it, but that audible pitter-patter as we lunched on their super chicken verde burrito was of 8.17 soulless mustaches on parade.
8/16: Our latest visit to top dog Taq. San Francisco wasn’t their greatest effort by any stretch. But it enabled the 24th St. burrito machine to maintain their Burritoeater OMR lead by a hair - 1/100th of a mustache, to be exact.
8/14: Can’t decide between barbecue and a burrito? Let Taq. El Jalapeño scratch both them itches.
8/12: We thought we’d been awarded a bonus slab in our burrito basket. But no, that’s just Baja Fresh’s fuzzy math, wherein one somehow equals two.
8/10: Si Señor! Hrumph!
8/7: We set aside our carnivorous ways for an afternoon and finally unearthed a Gordo burrito worth some kindness.
8/4: Over along Valencia’s taqueria row, the foodwork at Mariachi’s played stronger than its 7.67-mustache rating suggests.
8/2: El Faro on Folsom is widely credited as the creator of San Francisco’s first super burrito, nearly 44 years ago. Add them to the list of local taquerias (Ocean Taq., La Salsa) that now offer plus-sized mega-slabs for the discriminate San Francisco beltbuster, even though we didn’t love it.
7/29: One Burritoeater user calls Chunky’s “the best taqueria in town if you don't need to sit down.” We won’t go that far since their work didn’t even rate eight hairy ones on this, our summer ’05 visit. But it impressed us nonetheless.
7/25: El Farolito fed us pretty well. But considering its godhead status bestowed by some, we expected more.
New Apocalypse for August as well.
For one thing, Burritophile extends its taqueria scope well beyond San Francisco’s cloistered borders (Winnoski, Vermont!), and for another thing, if you’re bummed that Burritoeater is exclusively a one-jerk show and feel the need to share with the world your opinions on some burrito purveyor in someplace, U.S.A., take a second to register with their site and start penning your own screeds. If all that isn’t enticement enough, Dan’s also written some fantastic essays on such tricky topics as South American burritos and everyone’s least favorite diet burrito surrogate, the wrap. If you’re able to construct complete sentences while avoiding grave errors with possessive verbs and gerunds, then put the “u” in user and help build their review archive. We did.
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8/30: And out of nowhere comes Taq. Express to assume the top spot on Burritoeater’s mustache chart. We’ll return again this fall to assess any fluke factor. For now, they’re the real deal.
8/28: Of the four burrito shops that line Mission St. in the Excelsior, Taq. La Menudo has the copper medal all sewn up, in our book.
8/24: We think Taq. El Toro’s mean blimpwork gives its parental figure Pancho Villa the burrito beatdown.
8/22: Judged on appearance alone, the Taq. Chile Verde burrito looked like a strong candidate for the checkered flag. But once the unfoiling got underway, the whole thing just skidded into the ditch.
8/20: Got jury duty soon? Make that day even more of a drag by hitting Taco Rico.
8/18: La Mexicana may have gotten Zona Rosa’d at some point recently, and the Tenderloin may be a better place for it, but that audible pitter-patter as we lunched on their super chicken verde burrito was of 8.17 soulless mustaches on parade.
8/16: Our latest visit to top dog Taq. San Francisco wasn’t their greatest effort by any stretch. But it enabled the 24th St. burrito machine to maintain their Burritoeater OMR lead by a hair - 1/100th of a mustache, to be exact.
8/14: Can’t decide between barbecue and a burrito? Let Taq. El Jalapeño scratch both them itches.
8/12: We thought we’d been awarded a bonus slab in our burrito basket. But no, that’s just Baja Fresh’s fuzzy math, wherein one somehow equals two.
8/10: Si Señor! Hrumph!
8/7: We set aside our carnivorous ways for an afternoon and finally unearthed a Gordo burrito worth some kindness.
8/4: Over along Valencia’s taqueria row, the foodwork at Mariachi’s played stronger than its 7.67-mustache rating suggests.
8/2: El Faro on Folsom is widely credited as the creator of San Francisco’s first super burrito, nearly 44 years ago. Add them to the list of local taquerias (Ocean Taq., La Salsa) that now offer plus-sized mega-slabs for the discriminate San Francisco beltbuster, even though we didn’t love it.
7/29: One Burritoeater user calls Chunky’s “the best taqueria in town if you don't need to sit down.” We won’t go that far since their work didn’t even rate eight hairy ones on this, our summer ’05 visit. But it impressed us nonetheless.
7/25: El Farolito fed us pretty well. But considering its godhead status bestowed by some, we expected more.
New Apocalypse for August as well.
Two Tortillas and a MicrophoneJuly 2005
Everyone’s favorite postmodern / white funk / psych folk / soft rock / cut-n-paste / Scientology yukster, Beck, dropped in at Pancho Villa the other night, and not just for a taco, apparently. Ol’ Sissyneck hisself busked awhile at the back of the Mission burrito palace while cameras rolled; look for the footage in a future video.
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Burritoeater.com may not have Beck’s stage charisma, genre-busting ambition, or moppy devil’s haircut, but we do have one hell of a back catalog. Selected site additions of late:
- El Taco Loco kicked down only the fifth nine-mustache foodpiece on Burritoeater record. Dude.
- All these years later, and we still don’t get all the hullabaloo about La Taqueria’s burritowork.
- Tango 20!’s gnarly prices + a 10-bite pygmy slab = no fun at San Francisco’s newest “Specialty Burrito & Taco Bar.”
- Old civic farmhand La Cumbre rises again, albeit sort of unspectacularly.
- Spice raged within our modest breakfast burrito at La Salsa in Pacific Heights, despite all the uptight white people around us.
- All these years later, and we still don’t get all the hullabaloo about Taq. Can-cún’s burritowork, either.
- The Marina boasts a reputable slabbery, yes it does: La Canasta.
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Plenty of changes afoot on the San Francisco taqueria scene this summer. Tell it goodbye to short-lived Lower Haight hot-spot Las Mesas and Holly Park lukewarm-spot Las Potrancas, but say hello to a number of fresh faces: bad idea Tango 20! in the Western Addition, Inner Sunset wunderkind La Fonda, the Tacos San Buena slabwagon at 4th St. and Townsend, and La Trompeta out Oceanview way. Elsewhere, Taq. La Fortuna on Ocean Ave. recently changed its name to El Jalapeño; same goes for the La Trampa --> Taq. El Charro name-swap on Mason. Finally, in the Castro, La Fajita recently took over Cactus Fresh’s space, mercifully curtailing the latter’s terminally embarrassing existence. La Fajita makes a much more palatable burrito, despite continuing Cactus Fresh’s irritating habit of halving every slab they produce. Tango 20! also makes sure to crack every burrito of theirs in two. Why do certain taquerias insist on cutting our food for us?
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Burritoeater.com may not have Beck’s stage charisma, genre-busting ambition, or moppy devil’s haircut, but we do have one hell of a back catalog. Selected site additions of late:
- El Taco Loco kicked down only the fifth nine-mustache foodpiece on Burritoeater record. Dude.
- All these years later, and we still don’t get all the hullabaloo about La Taqueria’s burritowork.
- Tango 20!’s gnarly prices + a 10-bite pygmy slab = no fun at San Francisco’s newest “Specialty Burrito & Taco Bar.”
- Old civic farmhand La Cumbre rises again, albeit sort of unspectacularly.
- Spice raged within our modest breakfast burrito at La Salsa in Pacific Heights, despite all the uptight white people around us.
- All these years later, and we still don’t get all the hullabaloo about Taq. Can-cún’s burritowork, either.
- The Marina boasts a reputable slabbery, yes it does: La Canasta.
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Plenty of changes afoot on the San Francisco taqueria scene this summer. Tell it goodbye to short-lived Lower Haight hot-spot Las Mesas and Holly Park lukewarm-spot Las Potrancas, but say hello to a number of fresh faces: bad idea Tango 20! in the Western Addition, Inner Sunset wunderkind La Fonda, the Tacos San Buena slabwagon at 4th St. and Townsend, and La Trompeta out Oceanview way. Elsewhere, Taq. La Fortuna on Ocean Ave. recently changed its name to El Jalapeño; same goes for the La Trampa --> Taq. El Charro name-swap on Mason. Finally, in the Castro, La Fajita recently took over Cactus Fresh’s space, mercifully curtailing the latter’s terminally embarrassing existence. La Fajita makes a much more palatable burrito, despite continuing Cactus Fresh’s irritating habit of halving every slab they produce. Tango 20! also makes sure to crack every burrito of theirs in two. Why do certain taquerias insist on cutting our food for us?
