Our Onslaught Lurches OnFebruary 2006
FEBRUARY TAQUERIA VISITS:
2/27: Our foil-swathed lunch at Taq. El Castillito on Golden Gate may have rung the eight-mustache bell, but it won’t go down as the Little Castle’s finest slabular achievement.
2/23: That new burrito hall across from Harry O Menswear on 2nd St.? It’s Taco Del Mar, and it’s worth a hill a refried beans.
2/20: Irving St.’s La Fonda delivered the second fine slab of its young career, bonus pea and all.
2/16: We suited up for a doubleheader at Café Venue on Market St., and the morning's box score reported the grim truth: two burritos, 22 total bites, and a paltry six-mustache average.
2/11: We expected this much chicken in our Taq. La Alteña burrito. But THIS much? Come on.
2/9: Our sister site Steweater.com highly recommends Green Chile Kitchen & Market’s green chile stew. As for Green Chile’s burrito, try the stew.
2/6: The chief remnants of La Carreta Taq.’s ballyhooed debut were nothing more than a lowly 6.67-mustache rating on our scorecard and some irritating, off-key trumpet fanfare ringing in our ears the rest of the night.
2/2: By dual virtue of not serving us a lousy burrito and its very existence, El Miramar has cleared its name from our list of lousy taquerias we didn’t think existed anymore.
2/27: Our foil-swathed lunch at Taq. El Castillito on Golden Gate may have rung the eight-mustache bell, but it won’t go down as the Little Castle’s finest slabular achievement.
2/23: That new burrito hall across from Harry O Menswear on 2nd St.? It’s Taco Del Mar, and it’s worth a hill a refried beans.
2/20: Irving St.’s La Fonda delivered the second fine slab of its young career, bonus pea and all.
2/16: We suited up for a doubleheader at Café Venue on Market St., and the morning's box score reported the grim truth: two burritos, 22 total bites, and a paltry six-mustache average.
2/11: We expected this much chicken in our Taq. La Alteña burrito. But THIS much? Come on.
2/9: Our sister site Steweater.com highly recommends Green Chile Kitchen & Market’s green chile stew. As for Green Chile’s burrito, try the stew.
2/6: The chief remnants of La Carreta Taq.’s ballyhooed debut were nothing more than a lowly 6.67-mustache rating on our scorecard and some irritating, off-key trumpet fanfare ringing in our ears the rest of the night.
2/2: By dual virtue of not serving us a lousy burrito and its very existence, El Miramar has cleared its name from our list of lousy taquerias we didn’t think existed anymore.
2005 SlabbysJanuary 2006
It’s the 2005 Slabbys.
With your old crank of a host, Beano Cook.
Brought to you by The Shane Company.
And The Saw Mill.
Top 10 burritos of 2005:
1 - Taq. San Francisco (Mission), April 10, 9.00 mustaches
Of course.
2 - El Burrito Express (Western Addition), March 15, 9.00 mustaches
Titanic.
3 – Taq. Express (Tenderloin), August 30, 9.00 mustaches
The Clubber Lang of sucker-punches.
4 - Taq. El Taco Loco (Mission), July 1, 9.00 mustaches
The Crazy Taco hits the big-time.
5 – Tacos El Molcajete (Oceanview), May 5, 8.75 mustaches
Our favorite truck-generated burrito of the year.
6 – Gordo Taq. (Inner Sunset), November 8, 8.75 mustaches
It’s about time Gordo rolled a refried bean-filled wheelbarrow up to the counter.
7 - Taq. El Castillito (Civic Center / Tenderloin), February 12, 8.75 mustaches
Our favorite breakfast burrito of the year.
8 – Las Mesas (Lower Haight), January 24, 8.75 mustaches
Ostensibly fearing the sophomore jinx, management simply shut the place down in June. Kind of sad.
9 – Tacos El Tonayense (Harrison / 22nd St.), April 2, 8.67 mustaches
More slabwagon-spawned radness.
10 – El Burrito Express (Parkside / Outer Sunset), October 5, 8.67 mustaches
The Fog Belt comes through again.
Bottom 10 burritos of 2005:
1 – Tango 20! (Western Addition), July 19, 5.17 mustaches
@&%#!
2 – Las Estrellas (Hayes Valley), October 17, 5.58 mustaches
Tasted like some kind of Firestone product.
3 – La Taqueria (Mission), July 11, 5.75 mustaches
But if we ever launch Tacoeater.com, rest assured they’ll top our charts.
4 – Casa Sanchez (Mission), May 7, 5.83 mustaches
Who forgets to put beans in a burrito? Casa Sanchez, apparently.
5 – Taq. Viva Zapata (Financial Dist.), January 28, 5.92 mustaches
Pretty much a travesty.
6 – Fisherman's Wharf Deli & Taq. (Fisherman’s Wharf), March 2, 6.00 mustaches
If guaca-cream’s your thing, get yourself here pronto.
7 – Taq. El Nuevo Farolito (Mission Terrace), March 6, 6.00 mustaches
We’re laying odds that, one dark night in 2006, Taq. El Farolito will covertly hire a wrecking crew and have this sorry burrito factory demolished.
8 - Taq. El Buen Sabor (Mission), June 26, 6.00 mustaches
Most taquerias punctuate their burrito production process by heating the fresh slab in the steamer. El Buen Sabor apparently uses the freezer.
9 - 360° Gourmet Burritos (Post St.), June 10, 6.17 mustaches
When, when will this atrocious chain just go away?
10 – Taq. Girasol (SFSU), September 7, 6.17 mustaches
Try the self-serve taco/nachos bar instead.
Middle five burritos of 2005:
5 – Taq. Baja California (Mission), October 8, 7.08 mustaches
Middling burritowork at its most middling.
5 – Taq. El Pelon (South of Market), November 29, 7.00 mustaches
So middling, it hurt.
5 – Taylor’s Taq. (Diamond Heights), November 6, 7.00 mustaches
Even more middling that that last one.
5 – El Metate (Mission), September 16, 7.00 mustaches
Totally middling.
5 – La Casona (Fisherman’s Wharf), December 4, 7.17 mustaches
Quite possibly the middlingest of the middlingest.
Biggest burrito of 2005: Baja Fresh (Downtown / Financial Dist.)
Essentially, two full-size blimps. Good grief.
Favorite grilled tortilla of 2005: Taq. El Castillito (Civic Center / Tenderloin)
Flakier than Dennis Rodman, and way more deliciously aromatic.
Favorite carne asada of 2005: Papalote (Mission)
Because they have it shipped directly from Montana, daily.
Favorite carnitas of 2005: Taq. La Alteña (Excelsior)
So much more palatable than their Mission/22nd St. location.
Favorite chile verde pork of 2005: Taq. El Balazo (Upper Haight)
And you always gets a complimentary Mexican-flag-on-a-toothpick here.
Favorite chile colorado beef of 2005: Chunky’s (Tenderloin)
Saucily savory. Here’s to soaked beef.
Favorite al pastor of 2005: Taq. El Taco Loco (Mission)
This honor could have gone to a number of taquerias. The Crazy Taco takes home the hardware.
Favorite grilled chicken of 2005: Gordo Taq. (Inner Sunset)
Of course, we didn’t have much grilled chicken throughout the year. But Gordo came through.
Favorite chicken molé of 2005: Carmelina’s Taq. (UCSF)
Hard to believe, but the finest chicken molé of the year was unearthed at a hospital / student union food court on Mt. Parnassus.
Favorite bacon of 2005: Fountain Café (Downtown / Financial Dist.)
While you’re scoffing, our mouths will be full of tasty bacon.
Favorite sausage of 2005: Taq. El Castillito (Civic Center / Tenderloin)
Yup.
Favorite meatless slab of 2005: Gordo Taq. (Clement)
Conveniently located near Hi’s Tackle Box, San Francisco’s preeminent purveyor of quality fishing gear.
Favorite (and only) lengua of 2005: Taq. El Farolito (Excelsior)
“Don’t stick your tongue out at me unless you’re gonna use it.” – David Lee Roth
“Favorite” sesos of 2005: Taq. El Farolito (Mission/24th St.)
The sesos torta* we had here late one night in December only seemed to make us dumber. Fairly disgusting, yes.
Favorite rice of 2005: Taq. La Corneta (Glen Park)
Nudges out their Mission location by a mere grain.
Favorite beans of 2005: Mariachi’s (Mission)
We stop in on occasion just to shamelessly order a cup of their refried pintos, to go.
Favorite scrambled eggs of 2005: Fountain Café (Downtown / Financial Dist.)
A useless recommendation if you don’t enjoy eggs.
Favorite cheese of 2005: Taq. El Castillito (Duboce Triangle / Castro)
Multiple slices placed on a grilling tortilla. So simple, and yet so uncommon.
Favorite vegetable contingent of 2005: Taq. San Francisco (Mission)
So many elements go into a successful veggie ensemble. So few places ever nail the whole bit.
Favorite avocado of 2005: Taq. El Castillito (Duboce Triangle / Castro)
A close second: Taq. Can-cún.
Favorite guacamole of 2005: Cocina Poblana (Western Addition)
So thick, we originally mistook it for an avocado slice.
Favorite sauciness of 2005: El Burrito Express (Western Addition)
Two visits in the spring months, two equally devastating saucefests.
Favorite spiciness of 2005: Tacos El Molcajete (Oceanview)
Finally, a taqueria with the guts to use habañero without asking you to sign a waiver beforehand.
Favorite ingredient mix of 2005: Si Señor (2nd St.)
Some burrito shop in town had to win this one. Hey, this is important.
Hottest burrito of 2005: La Salsa (Pacific Heights)
A few minutes spent hovering over this scorching slab had us resembling Peter Gabriel circa “I Don’t Remember.”
Coldest burrito of 2005: Taq. El Buen Sabor (Mission)
If San Francisco burritos are points on a map of North America, this one was Nome in January. Disgracefully cold.
Favorite new taqueria of 2005: La Fonda (Inner Sunset)
Taq. Express and El Tesoro (both in the Tenderloin) also impressed us right out of the gate.
Most disappointing counter reply of 2005: Creighton’s (Mira Loma)
“What do you mean, ‘spicy’?” Seriously.
Favorite conversation overheard at the next table: Nick’s Crispy Tacos (Russian Hill / Polk Gulch)
“Have you seen that Web site with all the local taqueria listings?”
“I might have at one point. What’s it called again?”
“I can’t remember. It’s got a bunch of mustaches all over it, though. It’s outta hand.”
* That’s a brains sandwich
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JANUARY TAQUERIA VISITS:
1/29: We had some barbecued pork with our grease at the Tacos El Tonayense slabwagon on Shotwell.
1/27: We unearthed a mighty saucy treasure-slab at El Tesoro in the Tenderloin. Ahoy, blimey, etc. etc.
1/25: Any taqueria that lists melted cheese as a primary burrito ingredient clearly knows the score. Raise a used napkin to Loco Taco Taq. on Divisadero.
1/23: And for the 300th burrito to go under Burritoeater’s mustachioed knife, we hung a left and tackled a terrific vegetarian tofu slab at La Parrilla Grill in North Beach. Don’t pigeonhole us.
1/21: Taq. El Balazo-at-Wash faceplanted in a spiceless puddle of pork grease while futilely rushing to catch our eight-mustache bus.
1/19: 2005 Slabby winner Tacos El Molcajete hopped aboard 2006’s first rocket to hell with a 6.50-mustache letdown that had us imagining California’s earliest, blandest burritos.
1/17: Our favorite parlor game, Follow the Mustache, finds our city’s most popular Mexican-revolutionary-turned-taqueria-mascot setting up a second San Francisco home, adjacent to the Ferry Building. There’s a new Taq. Pancho Villa in town, sheriff.
1/15: El Fadi Taq. lends the Excelsior's Slab Row further credibility. Their brassy management boasts: “All those other wimp-ass neighborhoods are dumb. We're number one.”
1/13: Things got both grisly and gristly at Luna Taq. on Friday the 13th.
1/11: Some burrito shops around town would do illegal things for an 8.08-mustache rating. At Taq. Fiesta Taco, however, it smacks of underachievement.
1/9: We would have made it to Taq. El Gran Taco in 2005, but every time we tried, they were either closed or out of certain important burrito ingredients - tortillas, for example.
1/7: We gladly absorbed our first nine-mustache hit of 2006 at Taq. El Castillito on Mission St.
1/5: Over at the new Taq. Castillo branch on Mason St., we chipped a tooth on the three kitchen sinks they tossed into our burrito.
1/3: If Taq. La Paz’s full burrito-grilling stunt is any indication, it's bound to be another storied year on the San Francisco taqueria front.
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The West Coast gets into the act: A couple months after the New York Times kindly mentioned Burritoeater in an extensive Travel piece on San Francisco’s Mission District, the Los Angeles Times’ Food section featured our Web-based, mustachioed paean to food-blimps in an article spotlighting various food-specific blogs. Of course, ours is a Blargh, but who’s counting? Look for a front-page feature on us in the Bloomington Herald-Times late next month. (Site registration is required to read each article.)
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Yahoo! appears to be the latest powerful Web presence to fall under the Spell of the Mustache, as Burritoeater.com was chosen as a Yahoo! Pick back on Boxing Day 2005. Of course, that was the same day our hosting service mistakenly tripped our site’s cord and dislodged it from the proverbial Internet wall outlet. Awfully kind gesture on Yahoo!’s part, though.
With your old crank of a host, Beano Cook.
Brought to you by The Shane Company.
And The Saw Mill.
Top 10 burritos of 2005:
1 - Taq. San Francisco (Mission), April 10, 9.00 mustaches
Of course.
2 - El Burrito Express (Western Addition), March 15, 9.00 mustaches
Titanic.
3 – Taq. Express (Tenderloin), August 30, 9.00 mustaches
The Clubber Lang of sucker-punches.
4 - Taq. El Taco Loco (Mission), July 1, 9.00 mustaches
The Crazy Taco hits the big-time.
5 – Tacos El Molcajete (Oceanview), May 5, 8.75 mustaches
Our favorite truck-generated burrito of the year.
6 – Gordo Taq. (Inner Sunset), November 8, 8.75 mustaches
It’s about time Gordo rolled a refried bean-filled wheelbarrow up to the counter.
7 - Taq. El Castillito (Civic Center / Tenderloin), February 12, 8.75 mustaches
Our favorite breakfast burrito of the year.
8 – Las Mesas (Lower Haight), January 24, 8.75 mustaches
Ostensibly fearing the sophomore jinx, management simply shut the place down in June. Kind of sad.
9 – Tacos El Tonayense (Harrison / 22nd St.), April 2, 8.67 mustaches
More slabwagon-spawned radness.
10 – El Burrito Express (Parkside / Outer Sunset), October 5, 8.67 mustaches
The Fog Belt comes through again.
Bottom 10 burritos of 2005:
1 – Tango 20! (Western Addition), July 19, 5.17 mustaches
@&%#!
2 – Las Estrellas (Hayes Valley), October 17, 5.58 mustaches
Tasted like some kind of Firestone product.
3 – La Taqueria (Mission), July 11, 5.75 mustaches
But if we ever launch Tacoeater.com, rest assured they’ll top our charts.
4 – Casa Sanchez (Mission), May 7, 5.83 mustaches
Who forgets to put beans in a burrito? Casa Sanchez, apparently.
5 – Taq. Viva Zapata (Financial Dist.), January 28, 5.92 mustaches
Pretty much a travesty.
6 – Fisherman's Wharf Deli & Taq. (Fisherman’s Wharf), March 2, 6.00 mustaches
If guaca-cream’s your thing, get yourself here pronto.
7 – Taq. El Nuevo Farolito (Mission Terrace), March 6, 6.00 mustaches
We’re laying odds that, one dark night in 2006, Taq. El Farolito will covertly hire a wrecking crew and have this sorry burrito factory demolished.
8 - Taq. El Buen Sabor (Mission), June 26, 6.00 mustaches
Most taquerias punctuate their burrito production process by heating the fresh slab in the steamer. El Buen Sabor apparently uses the freezer.
9 - 360° Gourmet Burritos (Post St.), June 10, 6.17 mustaches
When, when will this atrocious chain just go away?
10 – Taq. Girasol (SFSU), September 7, 6.17 mustaches
Try the self-serve taco/nachos bar instead.
Middle five burritos of 2005:
5 – Taq. Baja California (Mission), October 8, 7.08 mustaches
Middling burritowork at its most middling.
5 – Taq. El Pelon (South of Market), November 29, 7.00 mustaches
So middling, it hurt.
5 – Taylor’s Taq. (Diamond Heights), November 6, 7.00 mustaches
Even more middling that that last one.
5 – El Metate (Mission), September 16, 7.00 mustaches
Totally middling.
5 – La Casona (Fisherman’s Wharf), December 4, 7.17 mustaches
Quite possibly the middlingest of the middlingest.
Biggest burrito of 2005: Baja Fresh (Downtown / Financial Dist.)
Essentially, two full-size blimps. Good grief.
Favorite grilled tortilla of 2005: Taq. El Castillito (Civic Center / Tenderloin)
Flakier than Dennis Rodman, and way more deliciously aromatic.
Favorite carne asada of 2005: Papalote (Mission)
Because they have it shipped directly from Montana, daily.
Favorite carnitas of 2005: Taq. La Alteña (Excelsior)
So much more palatable than their Mission/22nd St. location.
Favorite chile verde pork of 2005: Taq. El Balazo (Upper Haight)
And you always gets a complimentary Mexican-flag-on-a-toothpick here.
Favorite chile colorado beef of 2005: Chunky’s (Tenderloin)
Saucily savory. Here’s to soaked beef.
Favorite al pastor of 2005: Taq. El Taco Loco (Mission)
This honor could have gone to a number of taquerias. The Crazy Taco takes home the hardware.
Favorite grilled chicken of 2005: Gordo Taq. (Inner Sunset)
Of course, we didn’t have much grilled chicken throughout the year. But Gordo came through.
Favorite chicken molé of 2005: Carmelina’s Taq. (UCSF)
Hard to believe, but the finest chicken molé of the year was unearthed at a hospital / student union food court on Mt. Parnassus.
Favorite bacon of 2005: Fountain Café (Downtown / Financial Dist.)
While you’re scoffing, our mouths will be full of tasty bacon.
Favorite sausage of 2005: Taq. El Castillito (Civic Center / Tenderloin)
Yup.
Favorite meatless slab of 2005: Gordo Taq. (Clement)
Conveniently located near Hi’s Tackle Box, San Francisco’s preeminent purveyor of quality fishing gear.
Favorite (and only) lengua of 2005: Taq. El Farolito (Excelsior)
“Don’t stick your tongue out at me unless you’re gonna use it.” – David Lee Roth
“Favorite” sesos of 2005: Taq. El Farolito (Mission/24th St.)
The sesos torta* we had here late one night in December only seemed to make us dumber. Fairly disgusting, yes.
Favorite rice of 2005: Taq. La Corneta (Glen Park)
Nudges out their Mission location by a mere grain.
Favorite beans of 2005: Mariachi’s (Mission)
We stop in on occasion just to shamelessly order a cup of their refried pintos, to go.
Favorite scrambled eggs of 2005: Fountain Café (Downtown / Financial Dist.)
A useless recommendation if you don’t enjoy eggs.
Favorite cheese of 2005: Taq. El Castillito (Duboce Triangle / Castro)
Multiple slices placed on a grilling tortilla. So simple, and yet so uncommon.
Favorite vegetable contingent of 2005: Taq. San Francisco (Mission)
So many elements go into a successful veggie ensemble. So few places ever nail the whole bit.
Favorite avocado of 2005: Taq. El Castillito (Duboce Triangle / Castro)
A close second: Taq. Can-cún.
Favorite guacamole of 2005: Cocina Poblana (Western Addition)
So thick, we originally mistook it for an avocado slice.
Favorite sauciness of 2005: El Burrito Express (Western Addition)
Two visits in the spring months, two equally devastating saucefests.
Favorite spiciness of 2005: Tacos El Molcajete (Oceanview)
Finally, a taqueria with the guts to use habañero without asking you to sign a waiver beforehand.
Favorite ingredient mix of 2005: Si Señor (2nd St.)
Some burrito shop in town had to win this one. Hey, this is important.
Hottest burrito of 2005: La Salsa (Pacific Heights)
A few minutes spent hovering over this scorching slab had us resembling Peter Gabriel circa “I Don’t Remember.”
Coldest burrito of 2005: Taq. El Buen Sabor (Mission)
If San Francisco burritos are points on a map of North America, this one was Nome in January. Disgracefully cold.
Favorite new taqueria of 2005: La Fonda (Inner Sunset)
Taq. Express and El Tesoro (both in the Tenderloin) also impressed us right out of the gate.
Most disappointing counter reply of 2005: Creighton’s (Mira Loma)
“What do you mean, ‘spicy’?” Seriously.
Favorite conversation overheard at the next table: Nick’s Crispy Tacos (Russian Hill / Polk Gulch)
“Have you seen that Web site with all the local taqueria listings?”
“I might have at one point. What’s it called again?”
“I can’t remember. It’s got a bunch of mustaches all over it, though. It’s outta hand.”
* That’s a brains sandwich
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JANUARY TAQUERIA VISITS:
1/29: We had some barbecued pork with our grease at the Tacos El Tonayense slabwagon on Shotwell.
1/27: We unearthed a mighty saucy treasure-slab at El Tesoro in the Tenderloin. Ahoy, blimey, etc. etc.
1/25: Any taqueria that lists melted cheese as a primary burrito ingredient clearly knows the score. Raise a used napkin to Loco Taco Taq. on Divisadero.
1/23: And for the 300th burrito to go under Burritoeater’s mustachioed knife, we hung a left and tackled a terrific vegetarian tofu slab at La Parrilla Grill in North Beach. Don’t pigeonhole us.
1/21: Taq. El Balazo-at-Wash faceplanted in a spiceless puddle of pork grease while futilely rushing to catch our eight-mustache bus.
1/19: 2005 Slabby winner Tacos El Molcajete hopped aboard 2006’s first rocket to hell with a 6.50-mustache letdown that had us imagining California’s earliest, blandest burritos.
1/17: Our favorite parlor game, Follow the Mustache, finds our city’s most popular Mexican-revolutionary-turned-taqueria-mascot setting up a second San Francisco home, adjacent to the Ferry Building. There’s a new Taq. Pancho Villa in town, sheriff.
1/15: El Fadi Taq. lends the Excelsior's Slab Row further credibility. Their brassy management boasts: “All those other wimp-ass neighborhoods are dumb. We're number one.”
1/13: Things got both grisly and gristly at Luna Taq. on Friday the 13th.
1/11: Some burrito shops around town would do illegal things for an 8.08-mustache rating. At Taq. Fiesta Taco, however, it smacks of underachievement.
1/9: We would have made it to Taq. El Gran Taco in 2005, but every time we tried, they were either closed or out of certain important burrito ingredients - tortillas, for example.
1/7: We gladly absorbed our first nine-mustache hit of 2006 at Taq. El Castillito on Mission St.
1/5: Over at the new Taq. Castillo branch on Mason St., we chipped a tooth on the three kitchen sinks they tossed into our burrito.
1/3: If Taq. La Paz’s full burrito-grilling stunt is any indication, it's bound to be another storied year on the San Francisco taqueria front.
<> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <>
The West Coast gets into the act: A couple months after the New York Times kindly mentioned Burritoeater in an extensive Travel piece on San Francisco’s Mission District, the Los Angeles Times’ Food section featured our Web-based, mustachioed paean to food-blimps in an article spotlighting various food-specific blogs. Of course, ours is a Blargh, but who’s counting? Look for a front-page feature on us in the Bloomington Herald-Times late next month. (Site registration is required to read each article.)
<> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <>
Yahoo! appears to be the latest powerful Web presence to fall under the Spell of the Mustache, as Burritoeater.com was chosen as a Yahoo! Pick back on Boxing Day 2005. Of course, that was the same day our hosting service mistakenly tripped our site’s cord and dislodged it from the proverbial Internet wall outlet. Awfully kind gesture on Yahoo!’s part, though.
This Just In: More TaqueriasDecember 2005
So what if the Giants slogged through their lamest season in nine years? Does it really matter if Bill O’Reilly declared Coit Tower fit for detonation? Who cares? 2005 will surely go down in San Francisco lore as The Year of Burrito Enlightenment, and that’s big.
18 new taquerias on the SF slabscape, with at least one more on the way in December. Five others that boast new names and/or management. And not inconsequentially, the summer launch of two locally produced Web sites devoted to the taqueria trade (the other courtesy of our pals at Burritophile).
Notable additions to the San Francisco taqueria roster:
Taq. Express (Tenderloin): Nine mustaches right out of the gate? Good grief.
La Fonda (Inner Sunset): Taqueria cred migrates west of the Haight, alright.
El Tesoro (Tenderloin): Solid inner-city burritowork at an erstwhile Quiznos.
Taq. El Pelon (South of Market): One of four new burrito wagons to park in SF this year...although technically, this one’s actually a trailer.
El Faro (Downtown / Financial Dist.): Diminishing returns in action: The more locations they open, the less impressive their burritos taste to us.
Tango 20! (Western Addition): We’re not fans.
Tacos El Molcajete (Oceanview): We’re huge fans.
Cocina Poblana (Western Addition): Finally, a burrito shop in the Lower Fillmore area. Rad napkins. Burritos are pretty nice, too.
La Parrilla Grill (North Beach): From the people who brought us the Jose Canseco of restaurant mascots comes a pair of new La Parrilla Grills. Also see their Folsom/24th St. location.
Taq. El Jalapeño (Ingleside): Taking over for the forgettable Taq. La Fortuna, the folks who run this new joint know what it takes.
La Fajita (Castro): It’s no longer Cactus Fresh, so it no longer completely sucks.
Taq. El Charro (Tenderloin/Downtown): 8.33 mustaches on our first visit, coochie coochie.
Taq. Reina’s (South of Market): Taq. Can-cún grabbed Reina’s reins earlier this year. Our official reaction: “Hrumph.”
Other slab shops new to San Francisco this season: Los Compadres (Civic Center); Taq. Los Coyotes (Mission); Hernandez Taq. & Bakery (Visitacion Valley); Luna Taq. (South of Market); Taq. El Nuevo Farolito (Mission Terrace); Tacos San Buena (South of Market / Mission Bay); Taylor’s Taq. (Diamond Heights); Taq. La Trompeta (Oceanview); San Vicente (Mission); Alex Gourmet Burrito (Financial Dist.).
While we’re on this summarization kick, here are four burrito-serving establishments new to Burritoeater since its June debut: Cabbies Burger (Tenderloin); Creighton’s (Mira Loma); Taq. Gaby & Liz (Potrero Hill); Latte Express (South of Market / Mission Bay).
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December taqueria visits:
12/31: Considering its past glories, we were hoping Luna Azul would send 2005 out with a 8.50-mustache whomp. No such fortune. In an unrelated development, we refrained from using our crutch-noun of choice - “slab” - just to see if we could.
12/29: Ever notice the little park of redwoods next to the Transamerica Pyramid? How about the taqueria adjacent to all those trees? That’s Alex Gourmet Burrito. Try the park first.
12/27: Finally, a burrito worth looking professional for: the new La Salsa on Battery St.
12/23: It was a nice four-month run at the top of the mustache heap for Taq. Express, but our second visit saw their OMR careen back earthward.
12/21: We ascended the single-track escalator at Crocker Galleria. We enjoyed a marvelous breakfast slab at Fountain Café. We live again.
12/19: Taq. Maná appears incapable of producing a burrito that’s even remotely interesting.
12/17: A rainy Saturday afternoon trip to a Portola burrito shop with a less-than-illustrious Burritoeater track record? Must be La Placita.
12/14: Carmen Taq. Express is the kind of place where a 6.67-mustache slab has to be considered an overachievement.
12/12: Carmelina’s Taq. stages the off-Broadway hit musical Attack of the White Lab Coats six days a week up on Mt. Parnassus. The songs may be insipid and the acting uninspired, but the chicken molé is tops.
12/8: Our first truly quality burrito in awhile came from an unlikely source: tiny Taq. La Paz of the Tenderloin. Youneverknow.
12/6: Los Compadres’ truck at Spear and Folsom has officially joined its Civic Center counterpart in seven-mustache no-man’s land.
12/4: We braved San Francisco’s tourist hinterland and dropped in at La Casona near Fisherman’s Wharf. We didn’t spot any fishermen.
12/1: To hell with Rubio’s. To hell with that place.
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San Francisco’s Top Resource for Taquerias and Mustaches garnered a generous mention in a recent edition of The New York Times’ vaunted Sunday travel section, wherein Gregory Dicum explores the vibrant literary, artistic, and epicurean cultures that help shape the Mission District’s considerable repute. For our quoted contribution to Dicum’s sharply succinct article, we went the pithy route, constructing a complete soundbite from two definite articles, three nouns, and one mere verb. Most importantly, one of those nouns is a 16-pointer in Scrabble. (Registration with NYTimes.com is required to read the story online.)
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We’ve learned that Caribbean-cafe-in-taqueria-disguise Tango 20! is “temporarily closed,” according to a sign on its paper-covered front window. In a related development, a tree just fell in the woods, but nobody heard it.
18 new taquerias on the SF slabscape, with at least one more on the way in December. Five others that boast new names and/or management. And not inconsequentially, the summer launch of two locally produced Web sites devoted to the taqueria trade (the other courtesy of our pals at Burritophile).
Notable additions to the San Francisco taqueria roster:
Taq. Express (Tenderloin): Nine mustaches right out of the gate? Good grief.
La Fonda (Inner Sunset): Taqueria cred migrates west of the Haight, alright.
El Tesoro (Tenderloin): Solid inner-city burritowork at an erstwhile Quiznos.
Taq. El Pelon (South of Market): One of four new burrito wagons to park in SF this year...although technically, this one’s actually a trailer.
El Faro (Downtown / Financial Dist.): Diminishing returns in action: The more locations they open, the less impressive their burritos taste to us.
Tango 20! (Western Addition): We’re not fans.
Tacos El Molcajete (Oceanview): We’re huge fans.
Cocina Poblana (Western Addition): Finally, a burrito shop in the Lower Fillmore area. Rad napkins. Burritos are pretty nice, too.
La Parrilla Grill (North Beach): From the people who brought us the Jose Canseco of restaurant mascots comes a pair of new La Parrilla Grills. Also see their Folsom/24th St. location.
Taq. El Jalapeño (Ingleside): Taking over for the forgettable Taq. La Fortuna, the folks who run this new joint know what it takes.
La Fajita (Castro): It’s no longer Cactus Fresh, so it no longer completely sucks.
Taq. El Charro (Tenderloin/Downtown): 8.33 mustaches on our first visit, coochie coochie.
Taq. Reina’s (South of Market): Taq. Can-cún grabbed Reina’s reins earlier this year. Our official reaction: “Hrumph.”
Other slab shops new to San Francisco this season: Los Compadres (Civic Center); Taq. Los Coyotes (Mission); Hernandez Taq. & Bakery (Visitacion Valley); Luna Taq. (South of Market); Taq. El Nuevo Farolito (Mission Terrace); Tacos San Buena (South of Market / Mission Bay); Taylor’s Taq. (Diamond Heights); Taq. La Trompeta (Oceanview); San Vicente (Mission); Alex Gourmet Burrito (Financial Dist.).
While we’re on this summarization kick, here are four burrito-serving establishments new to Burritoeater since its June debut: Cabbies Burger (Tenderloin); Creighton’s (Mira Loma); Taq. Gaby & Liz (Potrero Hill); Latte Express (South of Market / Mission Bay).
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December taqueria visits:
12/31: Considering its past glories, we were hoping Luna Azul would send 2005 out with a 8.50-mustache whomp. No such fortune. In an unrelated development, we refrained from using our crutch-noun of choice - “slab” - just to see if we could.
12/29: Ever notice the little park of redwoods next to the Transamerica Pyramid? How about the taqueria adjacent to all those trees? That’s Alex Gourmet Burrito. Try the park first.
12/27: Finally, a burrito worth looking professional for: the new La Salsa on Battery St.
12/23: It was a nice four-month run at the top of the mustache heap for Taq. Express, but our second visit saw their OMR careen back earthward.
12/21: We ascended the single-track escalator at Crocker Galleria. We enjoyed a marvelous breakfast slab at Fountain Café. We live again.
12/19: Taq. Maná appears incapable of producing a burrito that’s even remotely interesting.
12/17: A rainy Saturday afternoon trip to a Portola burrito shop with a less-than-illustrious Burritoeater track record? Must be La Placita.
12/14: Carmen Taq. Express is the kind of place where a 6.67-mustache slab has to be considered an overachievement.
12/12: Carmelina’s Taq. stages the off-Broadway hit musical Attack of the White Lab Coats six days a week up on Mt. Parnassus. The songs may be insipid and the acting uninspired, but the chicken molé is tops.
12/8: Our first truly quality burrito in awhile came from an unlikely source: tiny Taq. La Paz of the Tenderloin. Youneverknow.
12/6: Los Compadres’ truck at Spear and Folsom has officially joined its Civic Center counterpart in seven-mustache no-man’s land.
12/4: We braved San Francisco’s tourist hinterland and dropped in at La Casona near Fisherman’s Wharf. We didn’t spot any fishermen.
12/1: To hell with Rubio’s. To hell with that place.
<> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <>
San Francisco’s Top Resource for Taquerias and Mustaches garnered a generous mention in a recent edition of The New York Times’ vaunted Sunday travel section, wherein Gregory Dicum explores the vibrant literary, artistic, and epicurean cultures that help shape the Mission District’s considerable repute. For our quoted contribution to Dicum’s sharply succinct article, we went the pithy route, constructing a complete soundbite from two definite articles, three nouns, and one mere verb. Most importantly, one of those nouns is a 16-pointer in Scrabble. (Registration with NYTimes.com is required to read the story online.)
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We’ve learned that Caribbean-cafe-in-taqueria-disguise Tango 20! is “temporarily closed,” according to a sign on its paper-covered front window. In a related development, a tree just fell in the woods, but nobody heard it.
House of the Rising SlabNovember 2005
In the continuing Burritoeater tradition of condensing months upon months of field research into a concise list easily digested in a matter of moments, it’s high time we ran down some of San Francisco’s most notable purveyors of that dually revered and misunderstood A.M. food item, the breakfast burrito.
(Fair warning: If you’re not so into eggs, chances are you’d rather wake up with some microwaveable porridge instead of a breakfast burrito that invariably includes...eggs. So there you have it.)
Delivered at peak power, a breakfast burrito is simply a super burrito with eggs - often at the usually warranted expense of rice, but not as a strict rule. Depending upon availability, beans can also be included, and if your burrito-maker really knows up from down, (s)he will gladly furnish anything/everything you’d want in your 1:00 P.M. or 9:00 P.M. cylindri-food, even in the blessed A.M.: the pork gamut (bacon, ham, or sausage), if you’re into that sort of thing; cheese; pico de gallo, avocado/guacamole, and all the veggie fixins (even potato chunks on occasion); and very importantly, a jumbo (not junior-size) tortilla to saddle the load.
Truth is, there seem to be two types of breakfast burritos patrolling our streets. There are the gone-in-ten-bites lil’ buddies so common around Downtown and the Financial District, which, while relatively cheap ($3.00-$4.00), still usually leave us wanting another two or three. More preferable in our camp are the bulked-up super slabs that sometimes require some polite arm-twisting to get made, if they’re not on the menu. Consider that if a place makes super burritos come P.M. time, it’s likely that they’ve got the ingredients to put an eggs-inclusive one together in the A.M. It never hurts to ask.
Breakfast burritos we have known, from the sublime to the sucktacular:
Taq. El Castillito (Civic Center / Tenderloin): Pretty much the gold standard, at this point.
Bur-Eat-Os (Financial Dist. [Sansome]): Despite the unfortunate name and the fact that you have to specifically request a burlied-up slab in the morning, worth the effort.
360° Gourmet Burritos (Downtown / Financial Dist. [Kearny]): Pass. For the sake of Pete, pass.
Café Venue (Downtown [Market]): Tiny, but otherwise excellent.
Taq. Can-cún (Lower Mission): The highest-rated burrito we’ve had (to date) at any of the three Can-cúns in town, anytime of day. And yet, still so unspectacular. Hrumph.
Fountain Café: Hulking and potato-laced. One of our favorites.
Jasmin’s Café: Lots and lots of sliced carrot. Peculiar, yes.
El Faro (Downtown / Financial Dist. [1st St.]): Further proof they’ve lost the plot.
Crieghton’s: We asked them to make it “real spicy” and were met with a quizzical, “What do you mean, ‘spicy’?” You get the picture.
Taq. Fiesta Taco: El Castillito’s considerable shadow can’t hide this laudable effort just up Golden Gate.
Fisherman's Wharf Deli & Taq.: In a word: ghastly. As if the name of the place threw you.
Also: Dos Piñas Taq.; La Salsa (Pacific Heights); Taq. San Jose (Mission); Si Señor! (Downtown [2nd St.]); Taq. El Taco Loco (Lower Mission); Tlaloc Sabor Mexicano; Taq. El Potrillo; Latte Express; Tortilla Flats
We figure breakfast is available at roughly half the taquerias in San Francisco. And while we’ve admittedly only scratched the egg-stained surface here on Burritoeater, it sure beats downing a bowl of wood chips and pebbles drowned in skim milk every morning.
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November taqueria visits:
11/29: Despite the rainy day, our first visit to San Francisco’s only burrito trailer was a dry one, thanks both to Taq. El Pelon’s canopied dining area and sauce-deficient food-blimp.
11/27: Slabular success was undercut at Taq. Pancho Villa by the twin nemeses of ingredient segregation and un-hot bites. Rankling and worry ensued.
11/25: Our first post-Thanksgiving burrito was mercifully devoid of tryptophan, although Aguila de Oro didn’t match its past glories.
11/23: Our lunch slab from San Francisco’s sole red burrito wagon, Los Compadres at the corner of Hayes and Polk, turned out to be a minor disappointment.
11/21: Brand new Tenderloin slabbery El Tesoro may have secured a sky-high mustache rating straight out of the gate, but they nevertheless failed to throw the crucial “Tasty al Pastor” lever.
11/18: The mustache ratings for our latest Chipotle burrito were so disparate, they deserve their own review format. Why travel all that way to one of their four Omaha locations when the same troubling inconsistencies can be had in downtown San Francisco?
11/16: Build a burrito around a few all-star items and too many useless bench-warmers, and what do you get? A foil-wrapped lunch at Maya (Next Door) with a clumsy grasp of the team concept.
11/14: Perennially airy Mexico au Parc may as well have been fanning us and feeding us grapes. Rarely do relaxation and good burritos collide as they do here.
11/12: Sandy bites at El Beach Burrito? Fortunately, not. But unwarm ones? We’re afraid so.
11/10: Bafflingly, La Palma was all arm and no follow through when it came to spice. But our favorite Mission mexicatessen still kicked down a spectacular slab-lunch.
11/8: Hats off to 9th Ave.’s Gordo Taq. Our staff of pigeonholing cynics had its collective yap stuffed by one hell of a dinner dirigible at this oft-lamented (by us) burrito shop. In our face.
11/6: Duck into Taylor’s Taq. for a middling burrito before that eagerly awaited haircut right next door at Great Clips.
11/3: Every now and again in the morning, we stumble upon a diamond in the non-taqueria rough. The only thing that tripped us up at Latte Express, however, was the doormat.
11/1: Another empty spot on the Great Taqueria Map of San Francisco is filled, this time by Cocina Poblana in the Western Addition. It’s a fine place, in a 7.58-mustache kind of way.
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Our latest word-salvo is now available at finer newsstands all over this freedom-loving country. Head on over to wherever readables are sold in your area and check the November/December issue of music/culture/etc. magazine Synthesis, which includes our profile of San Francisco’s prestigious taqueria scene alongside a feature on Danger Mouse / MF Doom and interviews with Broken Social Scene and, uh, Neal Schon of Journey. SF-based wunderkind Pete Geniella handled the photography for our piece, and he handled it real well. We’re bad, we’re nationwide.
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Clearly, one Taq. Pancho Villa ain’t enough for this town. The San Francisco Chronicle recently reported that the Mission stalwart plans to open a second location near the Ferry Building by December. Pancho Villa will sling slabs at tourists and Downtown workadays alike in the space currently occupied by Pier One Deli, near the corner of The Embarcadero and Washington. No word yet on whether The Espinoza family (owners of both Taq. Pancho Villa and Taq. El Toro) will employ a security guard / doorperson, or exactly what color the staff’s caps will be.
(Fair warning: If you’re not so into eggs, chances are you’d rather wake up with some microwaveable porridge instead of a breakfast burrito that invariably includes...eggs. So there you have it.)
Delivered at peak power, a breakfast burrito is simply a super burrito with eggs - often at the usually warranted expense of rice, but not as a strict rule. Depending upon availability, beans can also be included, and if your burrito-maker really knows up from down, (s)he will gladly furnish anything/everything you’d want in your 1:00 P.M. or 9:00 P.M. cylindri-food, even in the blessed A.M.: the pork gamut (bacon, ham, or sausage), if you’re into that sort of thing; cheese; pico de gallo, avocado/guacamole, and all the veggie fixins (even potato chunks on occasion); and very importantly, a jumbo (not junior-size) tortilla to saddle the load.
Truth is, there seem to be two types of breakfast burritos patrolling our streets. There are the gone-in-ten-bites lil’ buddies so common around Downtown and the Financial District, which, while relatively cheap ($3.00-$4.00), still usually leave us wanting another two or three. More preferable in our camp are the bulked-up super slabs that sometimes require some polite arm-twisting to get made, if they’re not on the menu. Consider that if a place makes super burritos come P.M. time, it’s likely that they’ve got the ingredients to put an eggs-inclusive one together in the A.M. It never hurts to ask.
Breakfast burritos we have known, from the sublime to the sucktacular:
Taq. El Castillito (Civic Center / Tenderloin): Pretty much the gold standard, at this point.
Bur-Eat-Os (Financial Dist. [Sansome]): Despite the unfortunate name and the fact that you have to specifically request a burlied-up slab in the morning, worth the effort.
360° Gourmet Burritos (Downtown / Financial Dist. [Kearny]): Pass. For the sake of Pete, pass.
Café Venue (Downtown [Market]): Tiny, but otherwise excellent.
Taq. Can-cún (Lower Mission): The highest-rated burrito we’ve had (to date) at any of the three Can-cúns in town, anytime of day. And yet, still so unspectacular. Hrumph.
Fountain Café: Hulking and potato-laced. One of our favorites.
Jasmin’s Café: Lots and lots of sliced carrot. Peculiar, yes.
El Faro (Downtown / Financial Dist. [1st St.]): Further proof they’ve lost the plot.
Crieghton’s: We asked them to make it “real spicy” and were met with a quizzical, “What do you mean, ‘spicy’?” You get the picture.
Taq. Fiesta Taco: El Castillito’s considerable shadow can’t hide this laudable effort just up Golden Gate.
Fisherman's Wharf Deli & Taq.: In a word: ghastly. As if the name of the place threw you.
Also: Dos Piñas Taq.; La Salsa (Pacific Heights); Taq. San Jose (Mission); Si Señor! (Downtown [2nd St.]); Taq. El Taco Loco (Lower Mission); Tlaloc Sabor Mexicano; Taq. El Potrillo; Latte Express; Tortilla Flats
We figure breakfast is available at roughly half the taquerias in San Francisco. And while we’ve admittedly only scratched the egg-stained surface here on Burritoeater, it sure beats downing a bowl of wood chips and pebbles drowned in skim milk every morning.
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November taqueria visits:
11/29: Despite the rainy day, our first visit to San Francisco’s only burrito trailer was a dry one, thanks both to Taq. El Pelon’s canopied dining area and sauce-deficient food-blimp.
11/27: Slabular success was undercut at Taq. Pancho Villa by the twin nemeses of ingredient segregation and un-hot bites. Rankling and worry ensued.
11/25: Our first post-Thanksgiving burrito was mercifully devoid of tryptophan, although Aguila de Oro didn’t match its past glories.
11/23: Our lunch slab from San Francisco’s sole red burrito wagon, Los Compadres at the corner of Hayes and Polk, turned out to be a minor disappointment.
11/21: Brand new Tenderloin slabbery El Tesoro may have secured a sky-high mustache rating straight out of the gate, but they nevertheless failed to throw the crucial “Tasty al Pastor” lever.
11/18: The mustache ratings for our latest Chipotle burrito were so disparate, they deserve their own review format. Why travel all that way to one of their four Omaha locations when the same troubling inconsistencies can be had in downtown San Francisco?
11/16: Build a burrito around a few all-star items and too many useless bench-warmers, and what do you get? A foil-wrapped lunch at Maya (Next Door) with a clumsy grasp of the team concept.
11/14: Perennially airy Mexico au Parc may as well have been fanning us and feeding us grapes. Rarely do relaxation and good burritos collide as they do here.
11/12: Sandy bites at El Beach Burrito? Fortunately, not. But unwarm ones? We’re afraid so.
11/10: Bafflingly, La Palma was all arm and no follow through when it came to spice. But our favorite Mission mexicatessen still kicked down a spectacular slab-lunch.
11/8: Hats off to 9th Ave.’s Gordo Taq. Our staff of pigeonholing cynics had its collective yap stuffed by one hell of a dinner dirigible at this oft-lamented (by us) burrito shop. In our face.
11/6: Duck into Taylor’s Taq. for a middling burrito before that eagerly awaited haircut right next door at Great Clips.
11/3: Every now and again in the morning, we stumble upon a diamond in the non-taqueria rough. The only thing that tripped us up at Latte Express, however, was the doormat.
11/1: Another empty spot on the Great Taqueria Map of San Francisco is filled, this time by Cocina Poblana in the Western Addition. It’s a fine place, in a 7.58-mustache kind of way.
<> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <>
Our latest word-salvo is now available at finer newsstands all over this freedom-loving country. Head on over to wherever readables are sold in your area and check the November/December issue of music/culture/etc. magazine Synthesis, which includes our profile of San Francisco’s prestigious taqueria scene alongside a feature on Danger Mouse / MF Doom and interviews with Broken Social Scene and, uh, Neal Schon of Journey. SF-based wunderkind Pete Geniella handled the photography for our piece, and he handled it real well. We’re bad, we’re nationwide.
<> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <>
Clearly, one Taq. Pancho Villa ain’t enough for this town. The San Francisco Chronicle recently reported that the Mission stalwart plans to open a second location near the Ferry Building by December. Pancho Villa will sling slabs at tourists and Downtown workadays alike in the space currently occupied by Pier One Deli, near the corner of The Embarcadero and Washington. No word yet on whether The Espinoza family (owners of both Taq. Pancho Villa and Taq. El Toro) will employ a security guard / doorperson, or exactly what color the staff’s caps will be.
