We've Had Some BurritosJune 2006
Ask any red-white-or-blue-blooded American what they enjoy most, and milestone recognition is guaranteed to be up near the top, right alongside auto racing and strip-mining. We’re no different, we’ve got calendars.
So this month, we milemark the one-year point of Burritoeater.com’s life on the Web in our own unique way - not with free slab-snacks, nor with an open horchata bar, mustache-shaped giveaways, logo-swaddled knickknacks for the kids, or logo-swaddled polos and fleeces for grown-ups who only wear clothes swaddled with logos. None of that here.
Instead, we give the people what they don’t want, and we do it at a price we can afford. We give the people words.
With that, please welcome our curmudgeonly mascot, Beano Cook, to the podium. Kindly hold your rotten tomatoes until the end of his meandering address.
(...and the microphone suddenly went dead.)
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JUNE TAQUERIA VISITS
6/30: Some slurping was required on our quick-return visit to the newest Tacos El Tonayense slabwagon.
6/27: Number one on Tacoeater.com, number 151 on Burritoeater.com: La Taqueria.
6/25: Headed for El Metate? Try the tacos.
6/23: Our fourth on-record visit to Taq. Pancho Villa on 16th St. finally did justice to the burrito palace’s enduring popularity.
6/20: Another Chipotle food-blimp went the way of the Hindenberg.
6/18: Strategic timing on our visit to Taq. El Farolito on 24th St. failed to produce a winning result.
6/16: Taq. La Cumbre finally kicked down a piece of work worthy of its living-legend status.
6/14: Taq. Pancho Villa appears to have brought some long-awaited slabular credibility to the Embarcadero.
6/11: The rundown of our second trip to Papalote’s new shop in the Western Addition features one hyphenated phrase per every 15 words. A meaningless new Burritoeater mark is established.
6/9: Traditional underperformer Taq. Can-cún knocked us flat with an 8.50-mustache foiled foodpiece. Call us oafs, but don’t call us closed-minded oafs.
6/5: Amidst an unforeseen triple shot of “I Heard It Through the Grapevine,” “Peggy Sue,” and “Sweet Home Alabama” on Taq. San Jose's jukebox, we had the most absurdly greasy slab on Burritoeater record (to date) foisted upon us. Hrumph.
6/3: Zona Rosa took that old inspiration/perspiration speech to heart, got mean with our panel, and wrangled itself an eight-mustache plaque.
6/1: Although we were stared down all the while by the gun-toting jalapeño nutjob painted on Taq. El Taco Loco’s south wall, we still enjoyed the super carnitas slab in our plastic red burrito basket.
So this month, we milemark the one-year point of Burritoeater.com’s life on the Web in our own unique way - not with free slab-snacks, nor with an open horchata bar, mustache-shaped giveaways, logo-swaddled knickknacks for the kids, or logo-swaddled polos and fleeces for grown-ups who only wear clothes swaddled with logos. None of that here.
Instead, we give the people what they don’t want, and we do it at a price we can afford. We give the people words.
With that, please welcome our curmudgeonly mascot, Beano Cook, to the podium. Kindly hold your rotten tomatoes until the end of his meandering address.
“Thanks, Dick. It’s been a fine rookie season. Those first few years trawling the minors – first as a handwritten, leather-bound journal in 2003 (current estimated worth: $8000), then as a weekly newsletter in 2004 to a select group of complete suckers – helped hone our skills, whatever they may be. If nothing else, when burrito un-foiling succeeds baseball as an Olympic sport in a few years, bet the farm that you’ll see our judges panel up on the top platform at medal-winnin’ time.
“In the last year, we’ve increased the number of reviews on Burritoeater by one or two hundred. We’ve got people who now read the Intestinal Apocalypse Monthly in West Africa, Southeast Asia, Northern Europe, and Pacific Heights...whereas a year ago, we only had readers in the first three regions. We’ve been quoted in major media outlets. We’ve been profiled by a few publications, and probably by the federal government as well. We’ve been slapped with the ‘pundit’ tag. We’ve made some friends, we’ve overheard people at the next table talking about ‘that weird burrito site with all the mustaches,’ and we’ve wrung our hands of that whole sesos torta fiasco at El Farolito last winter. We’ve been called ‘slabulous.’ It’s been fun.
“All niceties aside, I’d like to take advantage of this opportunity to publicly insult all the ferret-faced flapjacks back at our corporate stronghold. You’re all jerks – stooges of the highest order. You’re palateless wrap-eaters, mealy-mouthed morons. Go take a flying leap into a vat of molten pinto—”
(...and the microphone suddenly went dead.)
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JUNE TAQUERIA VISITS
6/30: Some slurping was required on our quick-return visit to the newest Tacos El Tonayense slabwagon.
6/27: Number one on Tacoeater.com, number 151 on Burritoeater.com: La Taqueria.
6/25: Headed for El Metate? Try the tacos.
6/23: Our fourth on-record visit to Taq. Pancho Villa on 16th St. finally did justice to the burrito palace’s enduring popularity.
6/20: Another Chipotle food-blimp went the way of the Hindenberg.
6/18: Strategic timing on our visit to Taq. El Farolito on 24th St. failed to produce a winning result.
6/16: Taq. La Cumbre finally kicked down a piece of work worthy of its living-legend status.
6/14: Taq. Pancho Villa appears to have brought some long-awaited slabular credibility to the Embarcadero.
6/11: The rundown of our second trip to Papalote’s new shop in the Western Addition features one hyphenated phrase per every 15 words. A meaningless new Burritoeater mark is established.
6/9: Traditional underperformer Taq. Can-cún knocked us flat with an 8.50-mustache foiled foodpiece. Call us oafs, but don’t call us closed-minded oafs.
6/5: Amidst an unforeseen triple shot of “I Heard It Through the Grapevine,” “Peggy Sue,” and “Sweet Home Alabama” on Taq. San Jose's jukebox, we had the most absurdly greasy slab on Burritoeater record (to date) foisted upon us. Hrumph.
6/3: Zona Rosa took that old inspiration/perspiration speech to heart, got mean with our panel, and wrangled itself an eight-mustache plaque.
6/1: Although we were stared down all the while by the gun-toting jalapeño nutjob painted on Taq. El Taco Loco’s south wall, we still enjoyed the super carnitas slab in our plastic red burrito basket.
Jackknife into Rice...May 2006
...cannonball into beans.
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May's Intestinal Apocalypse Monthly is here. Convenient subscriptions come with a year's supply of chintzy taqueria napkins. Visit the sign-up box above for further details.
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When it comes to filling our burrito-eating calendar, we’re not slinging Velcro dart-balls at a brick wall in the dark here, people. Far from it.
Scheduling quirks often come into play. Coordinating the personal schedules of our numerous panel members can wreak havoc on our salsa-splattered, avocado-smeared event planner. But these community linchpins – some of whom work as volunteer dog catchers, trenchcoat watch vendors, and self-proclaimed “mayors” of various local neighborhoods – play an invaluable role in Burritoeater’s ongoing carpet-bombing of the San Francisco slabscape.
Hours of operation also factor in. Perhaps this burrito shop on our hit list is lunch-only, or that burrito shop is closed on Sundays. Or perhaps we’ve slated a visit to slippery Taq. El Gran Taco, where they don’t seem to adhere to any sort of dependable business schedule.
Of course, our corporate charter prevents us from making official taqueria visits on consecutive days, because neither burning out nor fading away are viable options in our line of work. And there are those days when all we want is a ham sandwich.
But the taqueria visits never cease. Plans for the upcoming summer months call for:
- Continued visits to our top-rated taquerias, as well as first takes on any new burrito shops that crop up.
- Our popular Peer Pressure in the Burritoplace seminar, wherein we investigate whether San Francisco’s crowd-pleasingest burrito palaces (your La Taquerias, your Can-cúns, your Pancho Villas, et al) warrant all that box-office popularity.
- Water balloon battles, much wearing of sandals, fireworks every single night, etc. etc.
- Our first All-Taq. El Castillito Week. The mustache potential for this stunt will be through the roof.
- And, bucketloads of advance hype for our 2006 San Francisco Burrito Olympiad.
Tierra del Fuego, indeed.
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MAY TAQUERIA VISITS
5/30: Papalote on 24th St. cranked open a can of nine-mustache whup-ass on our sissyneck judges panel. It was a rapturous pummel.
5/28: Another Tacos El Tonayense vessel has dropped anchor on Harrison, and the results of our first visit won’t sully the reputation of San Francisco’s finest slabwagon armada.
5/26: Rare is our opportunity to use the phrase “ham cubes” in a review, but Fountain Café wouldn’t have it any other way.
5/24: Our favorite taqueria adjacent to any I-80 offramp nationwide? Surely it’s Chavo’s, at the corner of 4th St. and Bryant.
5/22: Andalé's increasingly proficient burritowork continues to propel the Chestnut slabshop up the citywide foiled-food chain.
5/19: Sometimes your team gets clobbered. Sometimes your dog doesn’t feel like fetching your slippers. Sometimes our favorite burrito shop, Taq. San Francisco, fails to add enough salsa.
5/17: Again with the soulless burritowork at La Mexicana – squarely respectable, hopelessly unspectacular.
5/15: Our foray into the Taq. El Toro bullring was a sloppy affair, but at least our taste buds weren’t gored.
5/12: Other than its remarkable spicelessness, our foiled lunch at 24th St.'s Taq. El Taco Loco was sharp on all fronts.
5/9: El Burrito Express on Divisadero was our ticket to a better night’s slab.
5/7: Dinner or physics experiment? Salsa Taq.’s latest slabular effort was a fine, but unwieldy exercise in downward ingredient compression.
5/4: An early-bird cultural swap had our judges panel visiting Cinco de Mayo Taq. a day before all the Corona-sloshed mayhem. In exchange, the whole of Mexico will be throwing down burgers and fries this July 3rd.
5/2: Another smash hit from Taq. El Balazo on Haight fueled us up for an evening of furious, Gordon Lightfoot vinyl crate-digging at Amoeba.
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May's Intestinal Apocalypse Monthly is here. Convenient subscriptions come with a year's supply of chintzy taqueria napkins. Visit the sign-up box above for further details.
<> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <>
When it comes to filling our burrito-eating calendar, we’re not slinging Velcro dart-balls at a brick wall in the dark here, people. Far from it.
Scheduling quirks often come into play. Coordinating the personal schedules of our numerous panel members can wreak havoc on our salsa-splattered, avocado-smeared event planner. But these community linchpins – some of whom work as volunteer dog catchers, trenchcoat watch vendors, and self-proclaimed “mayors” of various local neighborhoods – play an invaluable role in Burritoeater’s ongoing carpet-bombing of the San Francisco slabscape.
Hours of operation also factor in. Perhaps this burrito shop on our hit list is lunch-only, or that burrito shop is closed on Sundays. Or perhaps we’ve slated a visit to slippery Taq. El Gran Taco, where they don’t seem to adhere to any sort of dependable business schedule.
Of course, our corporate charter prevents us from making official taqueria visits on consecutive days, because neither burning out nor fading away are viable options in our line of work. And there are those days when all we want is a ham sandwich.
But the taqueria visits never cease. Plans for the upcoming summer months call for:
- Continued visits to our top-rated taquerias, as well as first takes on any new burrito shops that crop up.
- Our popular Peer Pressure in the Burritoplace seminar, wherein we investigate whether San Francisco’s crowd-pleasingest burrito palaces (your La Taquerias, your Can-cúns, your Pancho Villas, et al) warrant all that box-office popularity.
- Water balloon battles, much wearing of sandals, fireworks every single night, etc. etc.
- Our first All-Taq. El Castillito Week. The mustache potential for this stunt will be through the roof.
- And, bucketloads of advance hype for our 2006 San Francisco Burrito Olympiad.
Tierra del Fuego, indeed.
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MAY TAQUERIA VISITS
5/30: Papalote on 24th St. cranked open a can of nine-mustache whup-ass on our sissyneck judges panel. It was a rapturous pummel.
5/28: Another Tacos El Tonayense vessel has dropped anchor on Harrison, and the results of our first visit won’t sully the reputation of San Francisco’s finest slabwagon armada.
5/26: Rare is our opportunity to use the phrase “ham cubes” in a review, but Fountain Café wouldn’t have it any other way.
5/24: Our favorite taqueria adjacent to any I-80 offramp nationwide? Surely it’s Chavo’s, at the corner of 4th St. and Bryant.
5/22: Andalé's increasingly proficient burritowork continues to propel the Chestnut slabshop up the citywide foiled-food chain.
5/19: Sometimes your team gets clobbered. Sometimes your dog doesn’t feel like fetching your slippers. Sometimes our favorite burrito shop, Taq. San Francisco, fails to add enough salsa.
5/17: Again with the soulless burritowork at La Mexicana – squarely respectable, hopelessly unspectacular.
5/15: Our foray into the Taq. El Toro bullring was a sloppy affair, but at least our taste buds weren’t gored.
5/12: Other than its remarkable spicelessness, our foiled lunch at 24th St.'s Taq. El Taco Loco was sharp on all fronts.
5/9: El Burrito Express on Divisadero was our ticket to a better night’s slab.
5/7: Dinner or physics experiment? Salsa Taq.’s latest slabular effort was a fine, but unwieldy exercise in downward ingredient compression.
5/4: An early-bird cultural swap had our judges panel visiting Cinco de Mayo Taq. a day before all the Corona-sloshed mayhem. In exchange, the whole of Mexico will be throwing down burgers and fries this July 3rd.
5/2: Another smash hit from Taq. El Balazo on Haight fueled us up for an evening of furious, Gordon Lightfoot vinyl crate-digging at Amoeba.
Gameface'd Burritos of YoreApril 2006
RAISE A TORTILLA TO ED McMAHON
Enticing sweepstakes: Pick out the couple new photos we recently added to the randomly rotating swarm of pics on our splash page and win a side of guac.
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Down in the musty basement at Burritoeater HQ, our A&R (Arithmetic and Research) Division unearthed a shiny nugget the other day during a field trip to the corporate records room: Of the 300-plus foiled entries from San Francisco taquerias on Burritoeater record, exactly seven (7) have hit the nine-mustache jackpot, to date.
This information was discreetly interofficed to our senior management mucky-mucks, who convened for three hours in an all-glass board room before determining that seven divided into 300-something is kind of a low percentage.
Is it due to a cranky, overly stringent judges panel? A dearth of true greatness on the local slabscape? Remedial-at-best math skills? We’ll sidestep that debate and leave it to the punters.
One thing’s clear, however: Cresting our nine-mustache plateau is a rigorous task. Here are the magnificent seven:
Taq. San Francisco, Super Carne Asada, 2/16/04: 9.38 mustaches
We called it a “galloping stampede of bulky greatness” at the time. The shadows cast by memories of this legendary burrito grow more and more towering as the years fly by.
Papalote (Mission), Super Carne Asada, 2/27/04: 9.16 mustaches
A darkhorse at the time, Papalote sketched a self-portrait of cool consistency throughout our intensely fought 2004 Playoffs. This storied effort ultimately brought them the tournament hardware. A TV movie’s in the works.
Taq. El Castillito (Mission), Super Pollo en Salsa Roja, 1/7/06: 9.00 mustaches
The sole chicken-centric slab in our nine-mustache hall of fame, so far.
Taq. Express, Super Asada, 8/30/05: 9.00 mustaches
The biggest surprise of the lot. For a day, Taq. Express hung with the all-stars.
Taq. El Taco Loco (24th St.), Super al Pastor, 7/1/05: 9.00 mustaches
This burrito threw its hands in the air, and it waved them like it just didn’t care. A corker of a porker.
Taq. San Francisco, Super Carnitas, 4/10/05: 9.00 mustaches
Our longtime favorite taqueria in town is the only two-timer on this reverential list.
El Burrito Express (Western Addition), Super Chile Verde Pork, 3/15/05: 9.00 mustaches
No clangs, just swishes.
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APRIL TAQUERIA VISITS
4/29: You’d think La Palma Mexicatessen - one of the most dyed-in-the-wool, traditional Mexican markets in town - wouldn’t even consider dumping lettuce in a burrito. Time for some re-thinking.
4/27: Why waste time futzing with unreliable Amtrak? Hop aboard Taq. Express’ bargain-priced dining car.
4/23: For $5.82 at Taq. Guadalajara, we walked away with a plastic gold ring and a weird aftertaste courtesy of their less-than-illustrious salsa.
4/21: Though it’s a perennial favorite to at least show in the Mission Taqueria Derby, Taq. El Farolito at Mission / 24th St. seems to come up a furlong or two short more often than it should.
4/19: Given how Taq. Vallarta muffed our order, it’s mildly surprising they didn’t end up serving us a big ol’ ham sandwich.
4/17: Maybe it's like déjà vu all over again...but even though Mission shut-ins may scoff, Gordo Taq. on 9th Ave. is making a strong play for westside slabhouse superiority.
4/14: Another devastating foiled zeppelin at Taq. El Castillito on Church, another opportunity to go on about grilled tortillas, rich avocado, and chooglin’ spice.
4/11: Mission shut-ins may scoff, but El Burrito Express on Taraval is making a strong play for westside slabhouse superiority.
4/9: While we enjoyed our chicken molé burrito at the new Papalote in the Western Addition, we couldn’t help but notice a key component accidentally missing from its ingredient ensemble. A very key component, given all the sauciness.
4/5: Over the years, Dos Amigos Taq.’s mustache ratings have been as all over the map as Rand McNally. Cucumber has played an oddly significant role.
4/2: With all its superstar burrito palaces and word-of-mouth taqueria underdogs, the Mission needs a few steady, reliable role-players. Shake hands with Taq. Los Coyotes.
Enticing sweepstakes: Pick out the couple new photos we recently added to the randomly rotating swarm of pics on our splash page and win a side of guac.
<> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <>
Down in the musty basement at Burritoeater HQ, our A&R (Arithmetic and Research) Division unearthed a shiny nugget the other day during a field trip to the corporate records room: Of the 300-plus foiled entries from San Francisco taquerias on Burritoeater record, exactly seven (7) have hit the nine-mustache jackpot, to date.
This information was discreetly interofficed to our senior management mucky-mucks, who convened for three hours in an all-glass board room before determining that seven divided into 300-something is kind of a low percentage.
Is it due to a cranky, overly stringent judges panel? A dearth of true greatness on the local slabscape? Remedial-at-best math skills? We’ll sidestep that debate and leave it to the punters.
One thing’s clear, however: Cresting our nine-mustache plateau is a rigorous task. Here are the magnificent seven:
Taq. San Francisco, Super Carne Asada, 2/16/04: 9.38 mustaches
We called it a “galloping stampede of bulky greatness” at the time. The shadows cast by memories of this legendary burrito grow more and more towering as the years fly by.
Papalote (Mission), Super Carne Asada, 2/27/04: 9.16 mustaches
A darkhorse at the time, Papalote sketched a self-portrait of cool consistency throughout our intensely fought 2004 Playoffs. This storied effort ultimately brought them the tournament hardware. A TV movie’s in the works.
Taq. El Castillito (Mission), Super Pollo en Salsa Roja, 1/7/06: 9.00 mustaches
The sole chicken-centric slab in our nine-mustache hall of fame, so far.
Taq. Express, Super Asada, 8/30/05: 9.00 mustaches
The biggest surprise of the lot. For a day, Taq. Express hung with the all-stars.
Taq. El Taco Loco (24th St.), Super al Pastor, 7/1/05: 9.00 mustaches
This burrito threw its hands in the air, and it waved them like it just didn’t care. A corker of a porker.
Taq. San Francisco, Super Carnitas, 4/10/05: 9.00 mustaches
Our longtime favorite taqueria in town is the only two-timer on this reverential list.
El Burrito Express (Western Addition), Super Chile Verde Pork, 3/15/05: 9.00 mustaches
No clangs, just swishes.
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APRIL TAQUERIA VISITS
4/29: You’d think La Palma Mexicatessen - one of the most dyed-in-the-wool, traditional Mexican markets in town - wouldn’t even consider dumping lettuce in a burrito. Time for some re-thinking.
4/27: Why waste time futzing with unreliable Amtrak? Hop aboard Taq. Express’ bargain-priced dining car.
4/23: For $5.82 at Taq. Guadalajara, we walked away with a plastic gold ring and a weird aftertaste courtesy of their less-than-illustrious salsa.
4/21: Though it’s a perennial favorite to at least show in the Mission Taqueria Derby, Taq. El Farolito at Mission / 24th St. seems to come up a furlong or two short more often than it should.
4/19: Given how Taq. Vallarta muffed our order, it’s mildly surprising they didn’t end up serving us a big ol’ ham sandwich.
4/17: Maybe it's like déjà vu all over again...but even though Mission shut-ins may scoff, Gordo Taq. on 9th Ave. is making a strong play for westside slabhouse superiority.
4/14: Another devastating foiled zeppelin at Taq. El Castillito on Church, another opportunity to go on about grilled tortillas, rich avocado, and chooglin’ spice.
4/11: Mission shut-ins may scoff, but El Burrito Express on Taraval is making a strong play for westside slabhouse superiority.
4/9: While we enjoyed our chicken molé burrito at the new Papalote in the Western Addition, we couldn’t help but notice a key component accidentally missing from its ingredient ensemble. A very key component, given all the sauciness.
4/5: Over the years, Dos Amigos Taq.’s mustache ratings have been as all over the map as Rand McNally. Cucumber has played an oddly significant role.
4/2: With all its superstar burrito palaces and word-of-mouth taqueria underdogs, the Mission needs a few steady, reliable role-players. Shake hands with Taq. Los Coyotes.
Now with Frontloaded MustachesMarch 2006
Many things occurred 20 years ago. Too many to list here, really. Of course, several current 20-year-olds were born around that time. Also, people who are about 40 now were about 20 then. It’s facts like these that demonstrate the ongoing importance of arithmetic in our everyday lives.
It was also 20 years ago that Janet Jackson queried in poetic verse, “What have you done for me lately?”
It’s no different with San Francisco burritos. Just as our highly sophisticated 10-Mustache Scale relies on second grade math, a burrito shop’s body of work is only as crucial to us as how much we enjoyed our last burrito there. Consequently, a taqueria’s most recent burrito rating is now figured into its OMR (Overall Mustache Rating) twice; all other prior visits continue to count only once. Now, for the visual learners:
THEN
Burritoeater.com's original OMR formula...
6/24/05 visit: 9.00 mustaches
9/21/03 visit: 7.00 mustaches
OMR: 8.00 mustaches (16.00 divided by 2)
NOW
Burritoeater.com's revamped, totally bad-ass OMR formula...
6/24/05 visit: 9.00 mustaches
9/21/03 visit: 7.00 mustaches
OMR: 8.33 mustaches (25.00 divided by 3)
Why? Because quality at certain burritoterias can fluctuate over the years, and we’d prefer our ratings to slant toward more recent slab-fare.
In other news, we took a long look at some of our more granular neighborhood designations and thought, Hey, that’s taking it kind of far, isn’t it? So, we streamlined. Apologies to anyone particularly smitten with our now-defunct Silver Terrace designation.
In other news, there is no other news.
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MARCH TAQUERIA VISITS:
3/31: La Salsa on Battery offered further proof that business suits and exceptional burritowork don’t have to be mutually exclusive elements, particularly within a vital capitalist economy driven by sharply dressed laborers.
3/29: A few words that don’t appear in our Los Hermanos review: “flounder”; “surreptitious”; “if.” A few words that do: “cattywompus”; “saffron”; “and.”
3/26: Taco Del Mar’s thunderous slab lumbered around third base with bullish purpose, but it couldn’t beat the eight-mustache throw home.
3/24: There’s even a veiled LBJ reference in our write-up of San Vicente. What's really going on here?
3/21: Our first visit to Donna’s burrito tent-stand at Ferry Building Plaza yielded a real dichotomy-in-foil: tiny, spiceless, and completely delicious.
3/19: As certain ingredients grilled away, Ocean Taq.’s Sunday afternoon burrito had the early look of a champ. But it wasn’t long before its 7.67-mustache path became clearly defined.
3/16: Hidden under cover of a custom-built burrito blind, our camouflaged panel of judge-morons sighted an uncommon three-bites-wide slab at Cuco’s. This rare specimen was captured, analyzed, and subsequently devoured.
3/13: It was a thrilling lunch adjacent to the Balboa Park transit node at Taq. La Tambora, where last year’s 8.17-mustache fluke was this year’s 8.67-mustache titan.
3/11: Taq. El Gallo Giro’s burrito manifesto may as well read: “We don’t need no stinkin’ vegetables.” 8.42 mustaches makes it tough to grouse about the results, though.
3/9: At a mere $4.95, El Fadi Taq.’s excellent burritowork is clearly one of San Francisco’s smartest deals-in-foil.
3/6: Taq. El Jalapeño sort of short-changed us this time around, but we won’t hold a grudge. Not until they do it again, anyway.
3/3: Our favorite slabwagon in town, Tacos El Tonayense at Harrison and 22nd, came up golden again.
3/1: March arrived like a slab-devouring lion, as the usual assortment of bulwarking scofflaws in and around Taq. El Castillito couldn’t keep us from another afternoon of superb burritowork at the Mission St. mainstay.
It was also 20 years ago that Janet Jackson queried in poetic verse, “What have you done for me lately?”
It’s no different with San Francisco burritos. Just as our highly sophisticated 10-Mustache Scale relies on second grade math, a burrito shop’s body of work is only as crucial to us as how much we enjoyed our last burrito there. Consequently, a taqueria’s most recent burrito rating is now figured into its OMR (Overall Mustache Rating) twice; all other prior visits continue to count only once. Now, for the visual learners:
THEN
Burritoeater.com's original OMR formula...
6/24/05 visit: 9.00 mustaches
9/21/03 visit: 7.00 mustaches
OMR: 8.00 mustaches (16.00 divided by 2)
NOW
Burritoeater.com's revamped, totally bad-ass OMR formula...
6/24/05 visit: 9.00 mustaches
9/21/03 visit: 7.00 mustaches
OMR: 8.33 mustaches (25.00 divided by 3)
Why? Because quality at certain burritoterias can fluctuate over the years, and we’d prefer our ratings to slant toward more recent slab-fare.
In other news, we took a long look at some of our more granular neighborhood designations and thought, Hey, that’s taking it kind of far, isn’t it? So, we streamlined. Apologies to anyone particularly smitten with our now-defunct Silver Terrace designation.
In other news, there is no other news.
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MARCH TAQUERIA VISITS:
3/31: La Salsa on Battery offered further proof that business suits and exceptional burritowork don’t have to be mutually exclusive elements, particularly within a vital capitalist economy driven by sharply dressed laborers.
3/29: A few words that don’t appear in our Los Hermanos review: “flounder”; “surreptitious”; “if.” A few words that do: “cattywompus”; “saffron”; “and.”
3/26: Taco Del Mar’s thunderous slab lumbered around third base with bullish purpose, but it couldn’t beat the eight-mustache throw home.
3/24: There’s even a veiled LBJ reference in our write-up of San Vicente. What's really going on here?
3/21: Our first visit to Donna’s burrito tent-stand at Ferry Building Plaza yielded a real dichotomy-in-foil: tiny, spiceless, and completely delicious.
3/19: As certain ingredients grilled away, Ocean Taq.’s Sunday afternoon burrito had the early look of a champ. But it wasn’t long before its 7.67-mustache path became clearly defined.
3/16: Hidden under cover of a custom-built burrito blind, our camouflaged panel of judge-morons sighted an uncommon three-bites-wide slab at Cuco’s. This rare specimen was captured, analyzed, and subsequently devoured.
3/13: It was a thrilling lunch adjacent to the Balboa Park transit node at Taq. La Tambora, where last year’s 8.17-mustache fluke was this year’s 8.67-mustache titan.
3/11: Taq. El Gallo Giro’s burrito manifesto may as well read: “We don’t need no stinkin’ vegetables.” 8.42 mustaches makes it tough to grouse about the results, though.
3/9: At a mere $4.95, El Fadi Taq.’s excellent burritowork is clearly one of San Francisco’s smartest deals-in-foil.
3/6: Taq. El Jalapeño sort of short-changed us this time around, but we won’t hold a grudge. Not until they do it again, anyway.
3/3: Our favorite slabwagon in town, Tacos El Tonayense at Harrison and 22nd, came up golden again.
3/1: March arrived like a slab-devouring lion, as the usual assortment of bulwarking scofflaws in and around Taq. El Castillito couldn’t keep us from another afternoon of superb burritowork at the Mission St. mainstay.
