Had A TacoOctober 2007
Just because we operate something called Burritoeater.com doesn't mean we don't think outside the jumbo tortilla from time to time. Tacos, quesadillas, tortas, tortilla soup - they're all fair game on our judges panel's off-days.
Tacos. So petite, so cute. Three, four bites and out, usually. We reckon seven or maybe even eight of them equal the caloric content of a particularly robust, rice-inclusive super burrito. But tacos hold a special place on our hearts, especially when we're not in the mood for a gut-busting meal-in-foil.
Quesadillas are fun, aren't they? Sure they are. Certain San Francisco taquerias produce quesdaillas that look and taste suspiciously burrito-like (we're looking over at you, El Castillito) - not that we've got a problem with that. But we dare you to order yourself a Quesadilla Castillito with rice and beans, have them foil it up, and not call it a burrito's kissing cousin with a straight face.
Tortas, particularly those devoid of sesos, offer a delicious respite from our ongoing slabular onslaught. It's just a Mexican sandwich, people. Quit your hemming, halt your hawing, order up a sub slathered in refried beans.
Another frigid, sleet-strewn San Francisco winter is fast approaching. What better way to keep your tootsies cozy than by pouring a bowl of steaming tortilla soup down your neck? Dos Piñas in Potrero Hill, never highly regarded by our panel for its wee and somewhat overpriced burritowork, reputedly cranks out some of the finest tortilla soup west of the Pecos. Once this "Indian Summer" of ours subsides and muffler-and-mittens time arrives, we may have to investigate for ourselves...on a burrito off-day, of course.
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October Taqueria Visits
10/27: El Faro showed that almighty deliciousness can often mollify certain technical deficiencies in a burrito.
10/24: Years from now, Burritoeater.com’s most bilious critics will point to our first review of The Little Chihuahua’s burritowork - the one that includes “hinted at lemony undertones” – and gleefully announce, That was the exact moment that site jumped the shark. Time will tell.
10/20: Our first-ever breakfast slab at Taq. Zorro was delicious, yet semi-controversially cheeseless.
10/17: Taq. El Castillito on Church failed to bust out its proprietary Hammer of Significant Flavor™. Not to be outdone, our Burritoeater panel failed to bust out its proprietary Eight-Mustache Rating™.
10/12: Once again, Chavo’s came through big and strong.
10/10: La Salsa on Battery continued to demonstrate that every downtown burrito doesn’t have to be bland and mediocre, and cost upwards of nine dollars.
10/8: It’s beans and franks and franks and beans at Taq. El Pelon, San Francisco’s only burrito trailer.
10/5: We’d heard mumblings about Tlaloc Sabor Mexicano’s improved burritowork. Granted, it had few places to go but up, but the rumors have 7.83 mustaches of truth to them.
10/3: The Rolling Burrito Revue didn’t come to us, so we went to Rolling Taco instead.
10/1: SFSU’s newest organization, Students for Large and Average Burritos (SLAB), now holds lunch meetings every first Monday of the month on campus at Taq. Girasol.
Tacos. So petite, so cute. Three, four bites and out, usually. We reckon seven or maybe even eight of them equal the caloric content of a particularly robust, rice-inclusive super burrito. But tacos hold a special place on our hearts, especially when we're not in the mood for a gut-busting meal-in-foil.
Quesadillas are fun, aren't they? Sure they are. Certain San Francisco taquerias produce quesdaillas that look and taste suspiciously burrito-like (we're looking over at you, El Castillito) - not that we've got a problem with that. But we dare you to order yourself a Quesadilla Castillito with rice and beans, have them foil it up, and not call it a burrito's kissing cousin with a straight face.
Tortas, particularly those devoid of sesos, offer a delicious respite from our ongoing slabular onslaught. It's just a Mexican sandwich, people. Quit your hemming, halt your hawing, order up a sub slathered in refried beans.
Another frigid, sleet-strewn San Francisco winter is fast approaching. What better way to keep your tootsies cozy than by pouring a bowl of steaming tortilla soup down your neck? Dos Piñas in Potrero Hill, never highly regarded by our panel for its wee and somewhat overpriced burritowork, reputedly cranks out some of the finest tortilla soup west of the Pecos. Once this "Indian Summer" of ours subsides and muffler-and-mittens time arrives, we may have to investigate for ourselves...on a burrito off-day, of course.
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October Taqueria Visits
10/27: El Faro showed that almighty deliciousness can often mollify certain technical deficiencies in a burrito.
10/24: Years from now, Burritoeater.com’s most bilious critics will point to our first review of The Little Chihuahua’s burritowork - the one that includes “hinted at lemony undertones” – and gleefully announce, That was the exact moment that site jumped the shark. Time will tell.
10/20: Our first-ever breakfast slab at Taq. Zorro was delicious, yet semi-controversially cheeseless.
10/17: Taq. El Castillito on Church failed to bust out its proprietary Hammer of Significant Flavor™. Not to be outdone, our Burritoeater panel failed to bust out its proprietary Eight-Mustache Rating™.
10/12: Once again, Chavo’s came through big and strong.
10/10: La Salsa on Battery continued to demonstrate that every downtown burrito doesn’t have to be bland and mediocre, and cost upwards of nine dollars.
10/8: It’s beans and franks and franks and beans at Taq. El Pelon, San Francisco’s only burrito trailer.
10/5: We’d heard mumblings about Tlaloc Sabor Mexicano’s improved burritowork. Granted, it had few places to go but up, but the rumors have 7.83 mustaches of truth to them.
10/3: The Rolling Burrito Revue didn’t come to us, so we went to Rolling Taco instead.
10/1: SFSU’s newest organization, Students for Large and Average Burritos (SLAB), now holds lunch meetings every first Monday of the month on campus at Taq. Girasol.
More Stuff and ThingsSeptember 2007
September Blarghs read best when they're a potpourri of bullet points. That's what the shot-calling brass atop Burritoeater Towers seems to believe, anyway. But they're all jerks up there. They order "wraps" for lunch, daily.
- Big doings at Papalote's Mission shop on August 7: Our judges panel's 500th on-record burrito, which later culminated in the 500th review posted on Burritoeater.com, which of course resulted in complete global glory. But did that one guy at the corner table have to give our panel that standing ovation? Thanks for blowing our cover there, friend. Real smooth move.
- Press coverage leading up to the ballyhooed event was as white-hot as expected. Shortly before our milestone Papalote visit, the San Francisco Chronicle weighed in with a nice blurb in its weekly food section's "Inside Scoop" feature. In the wake of the momentous slab, our friends at Burritophile.com paid poignant tribute, and later in the month, the Examiner got into the act by inviting us to be the subject of their "3-Minute Interview," which, truth be told, took a hell of a lot longer than just three minutes. We don't understand what Steve Carlton was on about for all those years he skirted the microphone-and-notepad set - we like the media.
- Because we're paid the big money to observe such things, we noticed the recent, possibly inauspicious return of San Francisco's only burrito trailer, Taq. El Pelon, to the frenzied corner of Mission and South Van Ness. We haven't made an update-visit yet, and it's anyone's guess as to whether El Pelon's second era will endure any longer than its first (roughly, the 2005-06 school year). Stay tuned, in the unlikely event you care.
- Thanks, sort of, to eagle-eyed Burritoeater loyalist Colby Mancasola for pointing out the debut of yet another wheeled burrito retailer in town: Taco Stop, out toward the eastern end of Cesar Chavez. Why "sort of"? Because Taco Stop painted the portrait of slabular mediocrity during our first visit late last month, performing at a slightly lower mustache-rate than new-ish Taq. Alebrijes up in San Francisco's Magic Kingdom of Crass, Fisherman's Wharf. It's a rough day at the controls of the taqueria kitchen when you can't rate higher than a Fisherman's Wharf effort. May as well just pack it in. Move to Reno. Open a crêperie.
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September Taqueria Visits
9/28: There are worse places in town to get a better breakfast burrito than what Mexico au Parc produced for us.
9/25: La Salsa’s “Overstuffed Grilled” burrito was indeed overstuffed with meat and grilled to the nines. It also reminded us of a crepe. A carnitas crepe.
9/23: It was five swishes, three shrugs, and four clangs on a Sunday afternoon at Taq. Margoth.
9/15: We can distill La Castro Taq.’s fall from the top of our mustachioed charts to its current No. 6 position in one word, and that word is grease.
9/11: 6.33 mustaches for a burrito from 360° Gourmet sounds about right. And that's on a good day for the Walnut Creek-based chain.
9/8: Hot times were had at Taq. El Azteca in the Bayview.
9/4: Who needs Delacroix when there’s Taq. Maná just off Union Square? Read the review, perhaps consult a map of Louisiana, get the Delacroix reference.
9/1: In the end, Taq. La Alteña’s pastor widemouth superslab resulted in nine napkins used, over 20 bites taken, and a disappointing 7.33-mustache rating.
- Big doings at Papalote's Mission shop on August 7: Our judges panel's 500th on-record burrito, which later culminated in the 500th review posted on Burritoeater.com, which of course resulted in complete global glory. But did that one guy at the corner table have to give our panel that standing ovation? Thanks for blowing our cover there, friend. Real smooth move.
- Press coverage leading up to the ballyhooed event was as white-hot as expected. Shortly before our milestone Papalote visit, the San Francisco Chronicle weighed in with a nice blurb in its weekly food section's "Inside Scoop" feature. In the wake of the momentous slab, our friends at Burritophile.com paid poignant tribute, and later in the month, the Examiner got into the act by inviting us to be the subject of their "3-Minute Interview," which, truth be told, took a hell of a lot longer than just three minutes. We don't understand what Steve Carlton was on about for all those years he skirted the microphone-and-notepad set - we like the media.
- Because we're paid the big money to observe such things, we noticed the recent, possibly inauspicious return of San Francisco's only burrito trailer, Taq. El Pelon, to the frenzied corner of Mission and South Van Ness. We haven't made an update-visit yet, and it's anyone's guess as to whether El Pelon's second era will endure any longer than its first (roughly, the 2005-06 school year). Stay tuned, in the unlikely event you care.
- Thanks, sort of, to eagle-eyed Burritoeater loyalist Colby Mancasola for pointing out the debut of yet another wheeled burrito retailer in town: Taco Stop, out toward the eastern end of Cesar Chavez. Why "sort of"? Because Taco Stop painted the portrait of slabular mediocrity during our first visit late last month, performing at a slightly lower mustache-rate than new-ish Taq. Alebrijes up in San Francisco's Magic Kingdom of Crass, Fisherman's Wharf. It's a rough day at the controls of the taqueria kitchen when you can't rate higher than a Fisherman's Wharf effort. May as well just pack it in. Move to Reno. Open a crêperie.
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September Taqueria Visits
9/28: There are worse places in town to get a better breakfast burrito than what Mexico au Parc produced for us.
9/25: La Salsa’s “Overstuffed Grilled” burrito was indeed overstuffed with meat and grilled to the nines. It also reminded us of a crepe. A carnitas crepe.
9/23: It was five swishes, three shrugs, and four clangs on a Sunday afternoon at Taq. Margoth.
9/15: We can distill La Castro Taq.’s fall from the top of our mustachioed charts to its current No. 6 position in one word, and that word is grease.
9/11: 6.33 mustaches for a burrito from 360° Gourmet sounds about right. And that's on a good day for the Walnut Creek-based chain.
9/8: Hot times were had at Taq. El Azteca in the Bayview.
9/4: Who needs Delacroix when there’s Taq. Maná just off Union Square? Read the review, perhaps consult a map of Louisiana, get the Delacroix reference.
9/1: In the end, Taq. La Alteña’s pastor widemouth superslab resulted in nine napkins used, over 20 bites taken, and a disappointing 7.33-mustache rating.
Morning HullabalooAugust 2007
Down in the bowels of Burritoeater Towers, Timmy the Mail Kid labors hard to sort through the mountains of written correspondence our corporate HQ gets lambasted with daily. Timmy's a strapping 5'6" / 145. Still, Timmy gets the work done.
But this month's Blargh isn't about Timmy the Mail Kid. (Now get back to work, Timmy.) It's about breakfast burritos, and the letters we receive that ask where a person can track down a morning slab in San Francisco.
While our database crew hems, haws, and haws again about how to best parse out breakfast burrito data for site display, we've hand-compiled a list of ten breakfast burritos (in order of mustachioed glory) with which our judges panel has had relations in recent months. Maybe partying will help:
Taq. El Castillito, Civic Center / Tenderloin, February 15, 8.69 mustaches
A number of crucial factors (devastating chorizo/egg mix, surprisingly powerful bits of jalapeño, shatterproof construction, dimensional hugeosity) saw to this burrito’s spot in the first-class cabin of our panel’s early-morning flight.
La Laguna Taq., Bayview, May 31, 8.67 mustaches
This burrito's egg/bacon scramble, had it been produced in 1959, would have surely been described by someone wearing a cardigan sweater as “keen.” A 17-bite tour de force.
Green Chile Kitchen & Market, Western Addition, December 2, 8.64 mustaches
Great enough to take home the "Favorite Breakfast Burrito" plaque at last year's Slabbys gala.
Taq. El Farolito (Mission St.), Mission, July 29, 8.50 mustaches
Avocado! Good morning.
Taq. La Tambora, Mission Terrace, July 20, 8.08 mustaches
Hearty chunks of ham teamed with the thin and delicious omelet layer lining the inner tortilla to ensure toppermost taste in pretty much every bite.
Taco Del Mar (Bryant), South of Market, March 13, 7.92 mustaches
At the end of the breakfast, Taco Del Mar had done its weird, Buddy-Holly-gone-Norteño-gone-sturgeon mascot proud, somewhat.
Loco Taco Taq., Lower Haight, August 1, 7.50 mustaches
Loco Taco’s kitchen has a bad habit lately of misinterpreting “extra spicy” requests as “extra saucy.” Irritating.
Taq. San Jose, North Beach, January 14, 7.08 mustaches
This burrito needed one more cold element like it needed a hole in the tortilla.
Victor's, South of Market, April 23, 7.08 mustaches
Not even this burrito’s excellent set of bacon could save it from the low-seven-mustache bin of mediocrity.
Taq. Dos Amigos, South of Market, July 7, 6.92 mustaches
Our panel’s shoulders were so weary from all the shrugging this burrito elicited, they required a 90-minute massage.
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August Taqueria Visits
8/29: The sign in the front window of Bayshore burrito wagon Taco Stop announces “new zezty flavor.” Zezt, schmezt. Mediocre burrito.
8/26: A 5.75-mustache burrito? From a Tacos El Tonayense truck? Unspeakable.
8/22: Taq. Alebrijes demonstrated how a hot, well-constructed, spicy, and smartly mixed burrito full of substandard ingredients will suck the chrome off a trailer hitch every time.
8/18: Plenty of smoke from silly cigarettes wafted off 6th St. and into Taq. Chile Verde, but not enough to distract us from the dully respectable slab in our midst.
8/14: Oft-empty Taq. Reina’s won’t be in business much longer if its kitchen continues to pull such punchless stunts.
8/7: Papalote’s molé sauce ought to be designated a controlled substance.
8/4: Recollections of Aguila de Oro’s 2003-04 glory days were shoved even further back into our memory bank.
8/1: We expected heavy mustachioed action at Loco Taco Taq., but too much salsa verde led to an appointment with a Norelco.
But this month's Blargh isn't about Timmy the Mail Kid. (Now get back to work, Timmy.) It's about breakfast burritos, and the letters we receive that ask where a person can track down a morning slab in San Francisco.
While our database crew hems, haws, and haws again about how to best parse out breakfast burrito data for site display, we've hand-compiled a list of ten breakfast burritos (in order of mustachioed glory) with which our judges panel has had relations in recent months. Maybe partying will help:
Taq. El Castillito, Civic Center / Tenderloin, February 15, 8.69 mustaches
A number of crucial factors (devastating chorizo/egg mix, surprisingly powerful bits of jalapeño, shatterproof construction, dimensional hugeosity) saw to this burrito’s spot in the first-class cabin of our panel’s early-morning flight.
La Laguna Taq., Bayview, May 31, 8.67 mustaches
This burrito's egg/bacon scramble, had it been produced in 1959, would have surely been described by someone wearing a cardigan sweater as “keen.” A 17-bite tour de force.
Green Chile Kitchen & Market, Western Addition, December 2, 8.64 mustaches
Great enough to take home the "Favorite Breakfast Burrito" plaque at last year's Slabbys gala.
Taq. El Farolito (Mission St.), Mission, July 29, 8.50 mustaches
Avocado! Good morning.
Taq. La Tambora, Mission Terrace, July 20, 8.08 mustaches
Hearty chunks of ham teamed with the thin and delicious omelet layer lining the inner tortilla to ensure toppermost taste in pretty much every bite.
Taco Del Mar (Bryant), South of Market, March 13, 7.92 mustaches
At the end of the breakfast, Taco Del Mar had done its weird, Buddy-Holly-gone-Norteño-gone-sturgeon mascot proud, somewhat.
Loco Taco Taq., Lower Haight, August 1, 7.50 mustaches
Loco Taco’s kitchen has a bad habit lately of misinterpreting “extra spicy” requests as “extra saucy.” Irritating.
Taq. San Jose, North Beach, January 14, 7.08 mustaches
This burrito needed one more cold element like it needed a hole in the tortilla.
Victor's, South of Market, April 23, 7.08 mustaches
Not even this burrito’s excellent set of bacon could save it from the low-seven-mustache bin of mediocrity.
Taq. Dos Amigos, South of Market, July 7, 6.92 mustaches
Our panel’s shoulders were so weary from all the shrugging this burrito elicited, they required a 90-minute massage.
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August Taqueria Visits
8/29: The sign in the front window of Bayshore burrito wagon Taco Stop announces “new zezty flavor.” Zezt, schmezt. Mediocre burrito.
8/26: A 5.75-mustache burrito? From a Tacos El Tonayense truck? Unspeakable.
8/22: Taq. Alebrijes demonstrated how a hot, well-constructed, spicy, and smartly mixed burrito full of substandard ingredients will suck the chrome off a trailer hitch every time.
8/18: Plenty of smoke from silly cigarettes wafted off 6th St. and into Taq. Chile Verde, but not enough to distract us from the dully respectable slab in our midst.
8/14: Oft-empty Taq. Reina’s won’t be in business much longer if its kitchen continues to pull such punchless stunts.
8/7: Papalote’s molé sauce ought to be designated a controlled substance.
8/4: Recollections of Aguila de Oro’s 2003-04 glory days were shoved even further back into our memory bank.
8/1: We expected heavy mustachioed action at Loco Taco Taq., but too much salsa verde led to an appointment with a Norelco.
Two Years, Long TimeJuly 2007
Did you know Burritoeater.com celebrated its second anniversary on June 24?
No? Was your calendar not marked accordingly? Did you not send congratulatory bouquets and tiny little plastic containers of El Castillito's salsa verde?
After everything we've done for the community since 2005! Our spirited lobbying for taqueria tax breaks. Our town hall debates over La Taqueria's anti-rice stance. Our slab-slush funds for underprivileged urban youth. Our Scrums.
In any event, we here at Exploding Head Trick Publishing / SlabCo appreciate your continued online patronage. Buy a stein today!
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JULY TAQUERIA VISITS
7/29: It was Sunday morning coming down with a widemouth superslab at Taq. El Farolito on Mission.
7/26: After our first two on-record visits came up vaguely lackluster, Mariachi’s finally lived up to its potential.
7/23: Mediocrity’s bell clanged loud and clear at Azteca.
7/20: San Francisco’s best burrito value? Taq. La Tambora’s transit-accessible, eight-mustache super breakfast slab, at $3.85.
7/17: El Cachanilla answered our “extra spicy” request as no taqueria ever has - with red chile bean paste. Alright.
7/14: Just as we began to think we may never again indulge in another nine-mustache burrito, Papalote on Fulton kicked down a champion slab.
7/12: Is the paunch of mediocrity setting in at Taq. Los Coyotes on 16th St.? Our mustache meter indicates as much.
7/10: It's becoming increasingly clear that Ocean Taq. on Divisadero wouldn’t know a flavorful meat if one approached its counter, smiled, and announced, Hello, I am a flavorful meat.
7/7: Phrase excerpts from our 218-word speech on the morning burritowork at brand new Taq. Dos Amigos: “wispy pork”...“90-minute massage”...“roadhouse outside Macon.” Just read it.
7/5: El Norteño’s kitchen on wheels bashed out another foiled success, with enough habañero on hand to ignite World War III.
7/3: Down on lower Mission, Taq. Can-cún nearly waylaid our panel with an 8.83-mustache heater.
7/1: The second half of our burrito eating year got going with a mustachioed bang at Taq. San Francisco.
No? Was your calendar not marked accordingly? Did you not send congratulatory bouquets and tiny little plastic containers of El Castillito's salsa verde?
After everything we've done for the community since 2005! Our spirited lobbying for taqueria tax breaks. Our town hall debates over La Taqueria's anti-rice stance. Our slab-slush funds for underprivileged urban youth. Our Scrums.
In any event, we here at Exploding Head Trick Publishing / SlabCo appreciate your continued online patronage. Buy a stein today!
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JULY TAQUERIA VISITS
7/29: It was Sunday morning coming down with a widemouth superslab at Taq. El Farolito on Mission.
7/26: After our first two on-record visits came up vaguely lackluster, Mariachi’s finally lived up to its potential.
7/23: Mediocrity’s bell clanged loud and clear at Azteca.
7/20: San Francisco’s best burrito value? Taq. La Tambora’s transit-accessible, eight-mustache super breakfast slab, at $3.85.
7/17: El Cachanilla answered our “extra spicy” request as no taqueria ever has - with red chile bean paste. Alright.
7/14: Just as we began to think we may never again indulge in another nine-mustache burrito, Papalote on Fulton kicked down a champion slab.
7/12: Is the paunch of mediocrity setting in at Taq. Los Coyotes on 16th St.? Our mustache meter indicates as much.
7/10: It's becoming increasingly clear that Ocean Taq. on Divisadero wouldn’t know a flavorful meat if one approached its counter, smiled, and announced, Hello, I am a flavorful meat.
7/7: Phrase excerpts from our 218-word speech on the morning burritowork at brand new Taq. Dos Amigos: “wispy pork”...“90-minute massage”...“roadhouse outside Macon.” Just read it.
7/5: El Norteño’s kitchen on wheels bashed out another foiled success, with enough habañero on hand to ignite World War III.
7/3: Down on lower Mission, Taq. Can-cún nearly waylaid our panel with an 8.83-mustache heater.
7/1: The second half of our burrito eating year got going with a mustachioed bang at Taq. San Francisco.
