Slabs In the HoodFebruary 2007
In our continued, undying effort to analyze the bejeezus out of San Francisco’s plenteous taqueria scene, we’re proud to present our most recent study: Neighborhood-by-neighborhood burrito quality, as measured in mustaches.
Visual learners are invited to visit our map clearinghouse for PDF representations of our spatial study’s findings, gratis.
SAN FRANCISCO NEIGHBORHOODS: A BURRITO INQUIRY
Utilizing an intellectual discipline - traditionally reviled by most fifth-graders, but still often used in scientific circles - known to most as “math,” Burritoeater’s staff of taqueria geographers has compared OMRs (Overall Mustache Ratings) among all taqueria-inclusive neighborhoods in San Francisco. A given neighborhood’s rating is a result of the cumulative OMR of all taquerias in the neighborhood, with the total number of Burritoeater visits to all neighborhood taquerias acting as divisor. These neighborhood ratings have been rounded to the nearest hundreth of a mustache, and placed in one of four groupings: Superb, Reliable, Patchy, and Dicey. An example:
Cumulative OMR of Excelsior taquerias: 76.36
Total number of Burritoeater visits to Excelsior taquerias: 10
76.36 ÷ 10 = 7.64
Excelsior: Reliable
Glen Park, of all places, rang up the highest neighborhood OMR (8.40) in town, as its sole burrito shop – Taq. La Corneta – has always performed strongly for us. With neighborhood OMRs of 8.00 or more, other prime destinations for solid slab-action around town include: Western Addition (five taquerias, none of them lousy); Inner Sunset (home of 2006 Slab Scrum champ Gordo Taq., as well as La Fonda); Mission Terrace; both Upper and Lower Haight; and, the Castro, with its twin titans (Taq. El Castillito and La Castro Taq.).
The Mission? Naturally, heavy hitters such as Papalote, Taq. San Francisco, Taq. El Castillito, Taq. Can-cún, and the fleet of Tacos El Tonayense slabwagons assure perennial credibility. But any of the neighborhood’s troubling handful of slabular underachievers – we’re looking at you, Sonia’s, Casa Sanchez, Taq. El Buen Sabor, and La Taqueria – could serve as the Conrad Bain of Burritoeater’s existence at any given moment, and that’s not OK. Since our figures reflect the breadth of all neighborhoods’ burrito shops, rather than just each area’s peak performers, it’s little wonder the Mission’s OMR (the result of 120 taqueria visits there over the last four-plus years) came in under that of Bayview, Bayshore, Civic Center / Tenderloin, and in a seeming fit of blasphemy, even the Marina. (See below for where to send hate e-mail.)
And if you find yourself in the Financial District looking for either a stand of redwoods or an excellent burrito, the odds are stacked. Each can be tracked down, but the challenge is significant.
Our GIS staff eagerly awaits your gripes and other bones of contention re: neighborhood boundaries, our map’s color scheme, etc. etc., at ch@burritoeater.com.
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FEBRUARY TAQUERIA VISITS
2/28: Our latest foiled prize at La Fajita Grill turned out to be more all over our mustachioed map than Rick Steves out on a three-week travel bender with Rand McNally and the Thomas Bros.
2/26: Pancho’s on Polk served us a side of crow with our tasty, 8.25-mustache burrito. We’ve been tough on this place in the past, so we had it coming.
2/21: Zona Rosa welcomed us back to the grilled tortilla's fold with exceptional carnitas and way too much rice.
2/15: Nothing kicks off a week’s hiatus from San Francisco burritos like a titanic breakfast slab from Taq. El Castillito on Golden Gate.
2/11: The surefire remedy for breaking a streak of 21 (21!) consecutive sub-eight-mustache burritos? A visit to La Castro Taq. Everything is better now.
2/8: Ethel Mae's Southern Café & Taq. couldn’t maintain the highly rated momentum its crazy Cajun breakfast burrito created in our camp last autumn.
2/5: Comal Taq.’s formula for disaster: runny salsa + steamed tortilla = disgruntling sop. Add in the variable of gristly carne asada for an even less enticing sum total.
2/2: We’ll be damned if the carne asada fajita burrito we ordered at El Faro on Kearny didn’t remind us of a cheesesteak.
Visual learners are invited to visit our map clearinghouse for PDF representations of our spatial study’s findings, gratis.
SAN FRANCISCO NEIGHBORHOODS: A BURRITO INQUIRY
Utilizing an intellectual discipline - traditionally reviled by most fifth-graders, but still often used in scientific circles - known to most as “math,” Burritoeater’s staff of taqueria geographers has compared OMRs (Overall Mustache Ratings) among all taqueria-inclusive neighborhoods in San Francisco. A given neighborhood’s rating is a result of the cumulative OMR of all taquerias in the neighborhood, with the total number of Burritoeater visits to all neighborhood taquerias acting as divisor. These neighborhood ratings have been rounded to the nearest hundreth of a mustache, and placed in one of four groupings: Superb, Reliable, Patchy, and Dicey. An example:
Cumulative OMR of Excelsior taquerias: 76.36
Total number of Burritoeater visits to Excelsior taquerias: 10
76.36 ÷ 10 = 7.64
Excelsior: Reliable
Glen Park, of all places, rang up the highest neighborhood OMR (8.40) in town, as its sole burrito shop – Taq. La Corneta – has always performed strongly for us. With neighborhood OMRs of 8.00 or more, other prime destinations for solid slab-action around town include: Western Addition (five taquerias, none of them lousy); Inner Sunset (home of 2006 Slab Scrum champ Gordo Taq., as well as La Fonda); Mission Terrace; both Upper and Lower Haight; and, the Castro, with its twin titans (Taq. El Castillito and La Castro Taq.).
The Mission? Naturally, heavy hitters such as Papalote, Taq. San Francisco, Taq. El Castillito, Taq. Can-cún, and the fleet of Tacos El Tonayense slabwagons assure perennial credibility. But any of the neighborhood’s troubling handful of slabular underachievers – we’re looking at you, Sonia’s, Casa Sanchez, Taq. El Buen Sabor, and La Taqueria – could serve as the Conrad Bain of Burritoeater’s existence at any given moment, and that’s not OK. Since our figures reflect the breadth of all neighborhoods’ burrito shops, rather than just each area’s peak performers, it’s little wonder the Mission’s OMR (the result of 120 taqueria visits there over the last four-plus years) came in under that of Bayview, Bayshore, Civic Center / Tenderloin, and in a seeming fit of blasphemy, even the Marina. (See below for where to send hate e-mail.)
And if you find yourself in the Financial District looking for either a stand of redwoods or an excellent burrito, the odds are stacked. Each can be tracked down, but the challenge is significant.
Our GIS staff eagerly awaits your gripes and other bones of contention re: neighborhood boundaries, our map’s color scheme, etc. etc., at ch@burritoeater.com.
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FEBRUARY TAQUERIA VISITS
2/28: Our latest foiled prize at La Fajita Grill turned out to be more all over our mustachioed map than Rick Steves out on a three-week travel bender with Rand McNally and the Thomas Bros.
2/26: Pancho’s on Polk served us a side of crow with our tasty, 8.25-mustache burrito. We’ve been tough on this place in the past, so we had it coming.
2/21: Zona Rosa welcomed us back to the grilled tortilla's fold with exceptional carnitas and way too much rice.
2/15: Nothing kicks off a week’s hiatus from San Francisco burritos like a titanic breakfast slab from Taq. El Castillito on Golden Gate.
2/11: The surefire remedy for breaking a streak of 21 (21!) consecutive sub-eight-mustache burritos? A visit to La Castro Taq. Everything is better now.
2/8: Ethel Mae's Southern Café & Taq. couldn’t maintain the highly rated momentum its crazy Cajun breakfast burrito created in our camp last autumn.
2/5: Comal Taq.’s formula for disaster: runny salsa + steamed tortilla = disgruntling sop. Add in the variable of gristly carne asada for an even less enticing sum total.
2/2: We’ll be damned if the carne asada fajita burrito we ordered at El Faro on Kearny didn’t remind us of a cheesesteak.
2006 SlabbysJanuary 2007
It’s Burritoeater.com's annual bean-studded awards extravaganza: The 2006 Slabbys.
(Underwritten by a generous grant from the Negra Modelo Foundation.)
And now, our old crank of a taqueria sage, and your host: Beano Cook.
Top five burritos of 2006:
1 - La Castro Taq., September 9, 9.08 mustaches
On our second visit to this former El Castillito, their kitchen delivered the highest-rated effort in two-and-a-half years.
2 - Taq. El Castillito (Mission), January 7, 9.00 mustaches
At long last, some nine-mustache recognition for San Francisco's finest chain of burrito shops.
3 – Papalote (Mission), May 30, 9.00 mustaches
We gave Papalote's outstanding meatwork the afternoon off, and their talented kitchen responded with the greatest tofu burrito we may ever set teeth on.
4 - Loco Taco Taq., July 28, 9.00 mustaches
For a brief time, this burrito put Loco Taco atop our ballyhooed mustache chart.
5 – Gordo Taq. (Inner Sunset), April 17, 8.92 mustaches
It was around this time we determined that the former Burritoeater scapegoat could be onto something big in 2006.
Bottom five burritos of 2006:
1 - La Corneta Taq. (Mission), December 28, 5.42 mustaches
It takes a remarkable glut of errors to earn zero mustaches in our scoresheet's intangibility column, but La Corneta's kitchen seemed to have its mind on accomplishing this uncommon feat from the first disappointing bite onward.
2 - Café Venue, February 16, 5.54 mustaches
Unilaterally disastrous.
3 – Whole Foods Market Burrito Bar (Pacific Heights), July 3, 5.83 mustaches
Burrito-making ain't easy, particularly when the rice is presumably made of wood. At least our self-made slab was a strong dining value at only $13.81.
4 – Café Venue, February 16, 6.45 mustaches
"Woeful" doesn't begin to cover it, but it's as good a place to start as any.
5 – Tacos El Molcajete, January 19, 6.50 mustaches
This truck near the Daly City line impressed us in 2005 before hopping aboard some kind of rocket to hell in 2006.
Five other burritos of distinction in 2006 (good and bad):
1 - Ethel Mae's Southern Café & Taq., September 24
This hulking breakfast slab included Louisiana hot links, traditional southern dirty rice, plenty of scrambled eggs, and infernal spice; it rang up 8.46 mustaches; and, it was served with a side of grits. A side of grits. Awesome.
2 – La Corneta Taq. (Glen Park), August 11
La Corneta makes terrific chile rellenos. Chile rellenos make terrific burrito centerpieces. Terrific burritos, well, we all enjoy those.
3 – Luna Taq., January 13
Of the 2000-odd bites of burritos we took this year, it was the third one at Luna Taq. historians will surely point to and shudder as they remark, That right there was the most ludicrous Burritoeater moment of 2006.
4 – Taq. San Jose (Mission), June 5
Absurdly spicy. Obscenely greasy. Too hot to hold without gloves. A cavalcade of idiocy at the taqueria.
5 – La Laguna Taq., September 20
Machaca!
Most humongous burrito: Taq. Castillo
Had we attached four wheels, a chassis, and a steering wheel to this burrito, parallel parking would have been out of the question.
Favorite tortilla: Taq. San Francisco
This tortilla was so perfect, San Francisco Chronicle Magazine ran a photo of it on April 2.
Favorite carne asada: Papalote (Mission)
Papalote was awarded this distinction last year. The smart money says they could well land it again next year. Get your bookie on the horn now.
Favorite grilled chicken: Gordo Taq. (Inner Sunset)
We'll take "Slab Scrum Champions" for 2006, Alex.
Favorite al pastor: Taq. El Castillito (Castro)
Basted, freshly grilled, and unassailably delicious. Really something, and really something else, all at once.
Favorite carnitas: Gordo Taq. (Inner Sunset)
Gordo's meat trays were simply on fire in 2006.
Favorite variety meat: Cinco de Mayo Taq.'s pollo adovado
While we greatly enjoyed this excellent foiled torpedo - built around what was essentially barbecue chicken - we were just excited to work "slather" into a review.
Lamest meat of the year: Taq. La Tambora's carnitas
There were a few moments when La Tambora's carnitas was vaguely acceptable. More often, however, there were several moments when it was truly ghastly.
Favorite meatless burrito: Papalote (Mission)
Papalote marinates their tofu in a rich achiote before grilling it mercilessly. It’s a winning combination!
Favorite rice: Taq. La Corneta (Glen Park)
A repeat winner from 2005, La Corneta's vegetable-spiked Spanish rice remains the civic gold standard.
Favorite beans: Loco Taco Taq.
The Scrum's copper medalist wrested this honor away from 2005 winner Mariachi's - due in equal part to their own exquisite refrieds and the fact that we didn't get around to visiting Mariachi's in 2006.
Favorite cheese: El Burrito Express (Western Addition)
All three of our 2006 visits here resulted in perfect-10 cheese ratings. Mustaches like those speak for themselves.
Favorite vegetable contingent: Taq. Can-cún (Mission)
Hefty avocado slices, peppery pico de gallo, much chopped onion, a pinch of cilantro, good times at the taqueria.
Favorite ingredient mix: El Burrito Express (Outer Sunset)
More seamless than a spandex pantsuit. Much tastier, too.
Favorite breakfast burrito: Green Chile Kitchen & Market
8.64 mustaches worth of A.M. slab-happiness. Runners-up: Taq. El Castillito (Castro) (8.54) and Ethel Mae's Southern Café & Taq. (8.46).
Favorite new taqueria: La Castro Taq.
Management here took the El Castillito burrito template and actually improved upon it. They've been embedded at or near the top of our mustache chart since their debut last summer.
Thank you. Good night. Please drive safely. Complimentary horchata refills available in the lobby as you exit.
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JANUARY TAQUERIA VISITS
1/29: La Salsa’s unfortunate discontinuance of the behemoth El Champion burrito led us to a more humbly sized lunch at Pier 39, where we particularly enjoyed our waffle cone chaser.
1/26: There it is, right between McDonalds and Beep’s Burgers on Ocean Ave., adjacent to CCSF: a brand-new La Parrilla Grill, where phantom cheese is king.
1/24: Dining on Taq. El Potrillo’s front patio on a hazy afternoon, watching the traffic zoom through Bayshore’s industrial-commercial zone, we were certain we took a wrong turn off Cesar Chavez and ended up somewhere in L.A.
1/21: Recently opened Taq. Guadalajara may be 24th St.’s eleventh taqueria, but it’s the first along Slab Row where patrons can relax/recline in luxuriant, possibly Corinthian “leather.”
1/19: La Parrilla Grill in the Mission slung forth the fourteenth consecutive burrito to come in under our eight-mustache waterline. What the hell? Is this San Francisco or Saskatoon?
1/17: A super-sticky tortilla and spiciness that was, to be kind, less than boomin characterized Hernandez Taq. & Bakery’s latest weak effort.
1/14: If Taq. San Jose’s admittedly tasty breakfast burrito had the ability to make noise, it would have sounded something like this: shrug, shrug, shrug, CLANG, CLANG, CLANG.
1/11: Searing salsa roja at El Tepa Taq. ensured excitement at the remarkably consistent Mission slabbery.
1/8: Gordo Taq. on Geary is no Gordo Taq. on 9th Ave.
1/4: Hey Caramba! No, wait, that’s not it. Yo Caramba! No, that’s not it, either. Huh Caramba? We give up.
1/2: The sun rose on our 2007 taqueria schedule with a visit to brand-new Taq. El Sol on Geary.
(Underwritten by a generous grant from the Negra Modelo Foundation.)
And now, our old crank of a taqueria sage, and your host: Beano Cook.
Thanks, Dick. Good evening.
It was another fine year atop Burritoeater Towers. I’ve got lots to report, so can all the sycophantic applause and grab your seats.
Even though our mealy-mouthed judges panel added another 130-something reviews to our archive in 2006, these jerks wouldn't quit whimpering about how unfair it was to have to actually make their own burrito at Whole Foods Market that one day in July. Not much later, one of our upstairs mucky-mucks caved in and gave them carte blanche to run up sky-high horchata tabs at all the local El Castillitos for a week. Real tough gig, that all-Castillito week last summer.
And how about that Peer Pressure in the Burritoplace promo stunt that ran all throughout June? That’s when our panel exclusively visited a bunch of big-name, possibly-Zagat-rated taquerias around town. I’m sure glad these snifflewimps spent a month confirming that they’re still not fans of La Taqueria’s or Chipotle’s burritos. Time well spent.
They also spent nine months ramping up for our autumn Slab Scrum by hitting all the top places in town, over and over. Five trips to Gordo this year? Come on! Sure, there was the occasional detour to visit newly opened shops around town, but...I mean, really.
As if that wasn't enough, this team of layabouts took up all of October and half of November to draw out the Scrum as long as they could, before finally crowning Gordo the winner over Papalote right around the time everyone sets rice and beans aside and gets cranberry sauce and stuffing on the brain instead.
Aside from having to deal with these prima donna twits, we got some nice attention from beyond the Burritoeater bubble in 2006. The San Francisco Chronicle, Gelf Magazine, and the Mission Dispatch all paid visits to our offices for extensive Q&As throughout the year, while online tastemaker Daily Candy gave our marketing wizards a burst of energy last summer when they featured Burritoeater in their San Francisco edition one morning. Yahoo! picked the site by making it a Yahoo! Pick, and the Los Angeles Times generously quoted one of our reviews in a lengthy exposé on food blogs. On top of all the fun with the press corps, our editorial crew's handiwork guested on the pages of The Marina Times and Time Off! The Leisure Guide to San Francisco. We flirted with overexposure in 2006, and had a ball doing it.
We also launched our Apparel Bazaar and Merch Bazaar just as the holiday shopping season kicked into gear. Sales of our logo-swaddled throw pillows and teddy bears may have been less than brisk, but our line of casual, mustachioed apparel flew off the virtual racks to the point where our limited edition gold T-shirts sold out within a couple weeks.
And in our philanthropic move of the year, we produced a pair of maps detailing the coordinates of San Francisco taquerias for the betterment of our geographically challenged society. The first was a PDF of a handsome ArcMap project posted on Burritoeater, while the second was created entirely at Platial.com and eventually earned the Best Food & Drink Map designation from that site's brass. Machaca!
Alright, I've prattled on enough by now. Anyway, my gout is killing me, and it appears as if that entire family in the third row has already sacked out in their chairs. Let's shell out some Slabbys.
Top five burritos of 2006:
1 - La Castro Taq., September 9, 9.08 mustaches
On our second visit to this former El Castillito, their kitchen delivered the highest-rated effort in two-and-a-half years.
2 - Taq. El Castillito (Mission), January 7, 9.00 mustaches
At long last, some nine-mustache recognition for San Francisco's finest chain of burrito shops.
3 – Papalote (Mission), May 30, 9.00 mustaches
We gave Papalote's outstanding meatwork the afternoon off, and their talented kitchen responded with the greatest tofu burrito we may ever set teeth on.
4 - Loco Taco Taq., July 28, 9.00 mustaches
For a brief time, this burrito put Loco Taco atop our ballyhooed mustache chart.
5 – Gordo Taq. (Inner Sunset), April 17, 8.92 mustaches
It was around this time we determined that the former Burritoeater scapegoat could be onto something big in 2006.
Bottom five burritos of 2006:
1 - La Corneta Taq. (Mission), December 28, 5.42 mustaches
It takes a remarkable glut of errors to earn zero mustaches in our scoresheet's intangibility column, but La Corneta's kitchen seemed to have its mind on accomplishing this uncommon feat from the first disappointing bite onward.
2 - Café Venue, February 16, 5.54 mustaches
Unilaterally disastrous.
3 – Whole Foods Market Burrito Bar (Pacific Heights), July 3, 5.83 mustaches
Burrito-making ain't easy, particularly when the rice is presumably made of wood. At least our self-made slab was a strong dining value at only $13.81.
4 – Café Venue, February 16, 6.45 mustaches
"Woeful" doesn't begin to cover it, but it's as good a place to start as any.
5 – Tacos El Molcajete, January 19, 6.50 mustaches
This truck near the Daly City line impressed us in 2005 before hopping aboard some kind of rocket to hell in 2006.
Five other burritos of distinction in 2006 (good and bad):
1 - Ethel Mae's Southern Café & Taq., September 24
This hulking breakfast slab included Louisiana hot links, traditional southern dirty rice, plenty of scrambled eggs, and infernal spice; it rang up 8.46 mustaches; and, it was served with a side of grits. A side of grits. Awesome.
2 – La Corneta Taq. (Glen Park), August 11
La Corneta makes terrific chile rellenos. Chile rellenos make terrific burrito centerpieces. Terrific burritos, well, we all enjoy those.
3 – Luna Taq., January 13
Of the 2000-odd bites of burritos we took this year, it was the third one at Luna Taq. historians will surely point to and shudder as they remark, That right there was the most ludicrous Burritoeater moment of 2006.
4 – Taq. San Jose (Mission), June 5
Absurdly spicy. Obscenely greasy. Too hot to hold without gloves. A cavalcade of idiocy at the taqueria.
5 – La Laguna Taq., September 20
Machaca!
Most humongous burrito: Taq. Castillo
Had we attached four wheels, a chassis, and a steering wheel to this burrito, parallel parking would have been out of the question.
Favorite tortilla: Taq. San Francisco
This tortilla was so perfect, San Francisco Chronicle Magazine ran a photo of it on April 2.
Favorite carne asada: Papalote (Mission)
Papalote was awarded this distinction last year. The smart money says they could well land it again next year. Get your bookie on the horn now.
Favorite grilled chicken: Gordo Taq. (Inner Sunset)
We'll take "Slab Scrum Champions" for 2006, Alex.
Favorite al pastor: Taq. El Castillito (Castro)
Basted, freshly grilled, and unassailably delicious. Really something, and really something else, all at once.
Favorite carnitas: Gordo Taq. (Inner Sunset)
Gordo's meat trays were simply on fire in 2006.
Favorite variety meat: Cinco de Mayo Taq.'s pollo adovado
While we greatly enjoyed this excellent foiled torpedo - built around what was essentially barbecue chicken - we were just excited to work "slather" into a review.
Lamest meat of the year: Taq. La Tambora's carnitas
There were a few moments when La Tambora's carnitas was vaguely acceptable. More often, however, there were several moments when it was truly ghastly.
Favorite meatless burrito: Papalote (Mission)
Papalote marinates their tofu in a rich achiote before grilling it mercilessly. It’s a winning combination!
Favorite rice: Taq. La Corneta (Glen Park)
A repeat winner from 2005, La Corneta's vegetable-spiked Spanish rice remains the civic gold standard.
Favorite beans: Loco Taco Taq.
The Scrum's copper medalist wrested this honor away from 2005 winner Mariachi's - due in equal part to their own exquisite refrieds and the fact that we didn't get around to visiting Mariachi's in 2006.
Favorite cheese: El Burrito Express (Western Addition)
All three of our 2006 visits here resulted in perfect-10 cheese ratings. Mustaches like those speak for themselves.
Favorite vegetable contingent: Taq. Can-cún (Mission)
Hefty avocado slices, peppery pico de gallo, much chopped onion, a pinch of cilantro, good times at the taqueria.
Favorite ingredient mix: El Burrito Express (Outer Sunset)
More seamless than a spandex pantsuit. Much tastier, too.
Favorite breakfast burrito: Green Chile Kitchen & Market
8.64 mustaches worth of A.M. slab-happiness. Runners-up: Taq. El Castillito (Castro) (8.54) and Ethel Mae's Southern Café & Taq. (8.46).
Favorite new taqueria: La Castro Taq.
Management here took the El Castillito burrito template and actually improved upon it. They've been embedded at or near the top of our mustache chart since their debut last summer.
Thank you. Good night. Please drive safely. Complimentary horchata refills available in the lobby as you exit.
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JANUARY TAQUERIA VISITS
1/29: La Salsa’s unfortunate discontinuance of the behemoth El Champion burrito led us to a more humbly sized lunch at Pier 39, where we particularly enjoyed our waffle cone chaser.
1/26: There it is, right between McDonalds and Beep’s Burgers on Ocean Ave., adjacent to CCSF: a brand-new La Parrilla Grill, where phantom cheese is king.
1/24: Dining on Taq. El Potrillo’s front patio on a hazy afternoon, watching the traffic zoom through Bayshore’s industrial-commercial zone, we were certain we took a wrong turn off Cesar Chavez and ended up somewhere in L.A.
1/21: Recently opened Taq. Guadalajara may be 24th St.’s eleventh taqueria, but it’s the first along Slab Row where patrons can relax/recline in luxuriant, possibly Corinthian “leather.”
1/19: La Parrilla Grill in the Mission slung forth the fourteenth consecutive burrito to come in under our eight-mustache waterline. What the hell? Is this San Francisco or Saskatoon?
1/17: A super-sticky tortilla and spiciness that was, to be kind, less than boomin characterized Hernandez Taq. & Bakery’s latest weak effort.
1/14: If Taq. San Jose’s admittedly tasty breakfast burrito had the ability to make noise, it would have sounded something like this: shrug, shrug, shrug, CLANG, CLANG, CLANG.
1/11: Searing salsa roja at El Tepa Taq. ensured excitement at the remarkably consistent Mission slabbery.
1/8: Gordo Taq. on Geary is no Gordo Taq. on 9th Ave.
1/4: Hey Caramba! No, wait, that’s not it. Yo Caramba! No, that’s not it, either. Huh Caramba? We give up.
1/2: The sun rose on our 2007 taqueria schedule with a visit to brand-new Taq. El Sol on Geary.
The Little LighthouseDecember 2006
Ask anyone in San Francisco who knows a quesadilla from a case of Negra Modelo, and odds are strong he/she/he-she is anywhere from casually to intimately familiar with Taq. El Farolito. The celebrated, tri-located burrito shop remains one of the city’s celebrity taquerias – not celebrity in the sense that Danny Glover drops in for tacos on a regular basis, but in the sense that there are surely old-timers around town who’d probably say, if asked, Sure, I know that place.
Farolito’s not only a local household name, but a revered burrito destination for many San Francisco burritoeaters. And in many ways, it’s easy to see why. You get a sizable slab for around five dollars. You get a colorful, real-deal-taqueria vibe, the likes of which the La Salsas and Chipotles of the world have zero concept. You get a rad salsa bar and the full complement of meat and bean options. And the kids just love the vertical rotisserie of pork.
El Farolito’s three shops in town (two in the Mission, one in the Excelsior) historically handle burrito basics well. No tortilla goes ungrilled, and rarely does a shard of cheese go unmelted. Burrito architecture is generally quake-proof – few busted burritos emerge from Farolito’s kitchen. Like it or not, their slabwork looks, feels, and tastes like a quintessential San Francisco burrito. On the other hand, they’ve been known to lean too heavily on the rice at the 24th St./Alabama shop - and although it’s beyond the scope of our burrito-focused jurisdiction, it’s nevertheless worth noting that their sesos torta is a completely god-awful thing to put oneself through.
Late night rough-ups aren’t uncommon at the two Mission locations. Remember when that brawl broke out between those two mooks in line, and the salsa bar got knocked on its ass? That wasn’t the first time that happened. Also, anyone ill-equipped with the patience to endure long lines may be better served elsewhere. And the restroom experience can be less than the finest.
But clearly, if you’ve got a visitor in town who’s curious what the San Francisco taqueria hullabaloo is all about, a visit to El Farolito – particularly the flagship location on Mission just off 24th St. – is likely to get them in the mood for foiled food right quick.
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Our marketing wizards got wind that people really like to buy things this time of year, so they made haste and cranked out our new Great Mustache line of shirts and sundry products. Visit our Apparel Bazaar and Merch Bazaar, and take a mustache home today!
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DECEMBER TAQUERIA VISITS
12/31: We played out 2006’s burrito-eating string at Taq. Los Coyotes near the southern border of town.
12/28: La Corneta Taq.’s burrito recipe for disaster rang up 2006’s lowest mustache rating on Burritoeater record. Happy new year!
12/26: We endured a holiday tragedy at Taq. Can-cún on Market, where the burrito-making Grinch stole the day after Xmas. Now we’ll never have that day back. It’s gone. Gone forever.
12/16: 20 mostly mediocre bites occurred at El Taconazo in the Excelsior. One even included a solitary lima bean.
12/12: Surf culture met Slabtown at La Playa Taq., near the edge of the North American continent. The two parties shook hands amiably and took in a 7.58-mustache burrito.
12/8: It had been two years since our last visit to Taq. Miraloma. That was several hundred burritos ago.
12/5: Our panel’s streak of nine consecutive eight-mustache burritos was abruptly halted by Taq. Pepe’s. Hmph.
12/2: Five perfect element ratings assured Green Chile Kitchen & Market’s excellent breakfast burrito a spot in our A.M. Scrum (should such a competition ever occur).
Farolito’s not only a local household name, but a revered burrito destination for many San Francisco burritoeaters. And in many ways, it’s easy to see why. You get a sizable slab for around five dollars. You get a colorful, real-deal-taqueria vibe, the likes of which the La Salsas and Chipotles of the world have zero concept. You get a rad salsa bar and the full complement of meat and bean options. And the kids just love the vertical rotisserie of pork.
El Farolito’s three shops in town (two in the Mission, one in the Excelsior) historically handle burrito basics well. No tortilla goes ungrilled, and rarely does a shard of cheese go unmelted. Burrito architecture is generally quake-proof – few busted burritos emerge from Farolito’s kitchen. Like it or not, their slabwork looks, feels, and tastes like a quintessential San Francisco burrito. On the other hand, they’ve been known to lean too heavily on the rice at the 24th St./Alabama shop - and although it’s beyond the scope of our burrito-focused jurisdiction, it’s nevertheless worth noting that their sesos torta is a completely god-awful thing to put oneself through.
Late night rough-ups aren’t uncommon at the two Mission locations. Remember when that brawl broke out between those two mooks in line, and the salsa bar got knocked on its ass? That wasn’t the first time that happened. Also, anyone ill-equipped with the patience to endure long lines may be better served elsewhere. And the restroom experience can be less than the finest.
But clearly, if you’ve got a visitor in town who’s curious what the San Francisco taqueria hullabaloo is all about, a visit to El Farolito – particularly the flagship location on Mission just off 24th St. – is likely to get them in the mood for foiled food right quick.
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Our marketing wizards got wind that people really like to buy things this time of year, so they made haste and cranked out our new Great Mustache line of shirts and sundry products. Visit our Apparel Bazaar and Merch Bazaar, and take a mustache home today!
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DECEMBER TAQUERIA VISITS
12/31: We played out 2006’s burrito-eating string at Taq. Los Coyotes near the southern border of town.
12/28: La Corneta Taq.’s burrito recipe for disaster rang up 2006’s lowest mustache rating on Burritoeater record. Happy new year!
12/26: We endured a holiday tragedy at Taq. Can-cún on Market, where the burrito-making Grinch stole the day after Xmas. Now we’ll never have that day back. It’s gone. Gone forever.
12/16: 20 mostly mediocre bites occurred at El Taconazo in the Excelsior. One even included a solitary lima bean.
12/12: Surf culture met Slabtown at La Playa Taq., near the edge of the North American continent. The two parties shook hands amiably and took in a 7.58-mustache burrito.
12/8: It had been two years since our last visit to Taq. Miraloma. That was several hundred burritos ago.
12/5: Our panel’s streak of nine consecutive eight-mustache burritos was abruptly halted by Taq. Pepe’s. Hmph.
12/2: Five perfect element ratings assured Green Chile Kitchen & Market’s excellent breakfast burrito a spot in our A.M. Scrum (should such a competition ever occur).
Chip Up Chip UpNovember 2006
Tortilla chips. Perhaps you've had them before? They’re a complimentary staple at any self-respecting taqueria, and when done right, they’re much more delicious and nourishing than actual staples. And yet, in the patently weird realm occupied by Burritoeater.com’s panel of esteemed judge-doofuses, a basket of chips is something that – like service, décor, music, restroom cleanliness, and the presence of sesos on the overhead menu - is often noted in our reviews, but not officially rated as part of our 10-Mustache Scale™. Why? That’s how things work here. Now move it along.
Our editorial crew receives inquiries from time to time as to which San Francisco slab palaces feature the finest in fried, crunchy tortilla wedges. Granted, a number of places will always paint by numbers and go the 60 lb. bulk bag route, and while the quality of these jumbo sacks can range from serviceable to out-and-out ghastly, the subtext between the lines is achingly clear: Here! Eat something, anything, other than your hand, before we deliver your burrito to your table in a couple minutes.
But there are those who place a premium on the goodness of chips served during a San Francisco taqueria experience, and that's perfectly alright - we salute you and your beloved, oft-triangular snacks. Don't forget your molars as you visit our favorite chip-dealers in town:
Casa Sanchez: The chips made at this family-operated taqueria are as good as they come, in our book. They’re also for sale in full-size bags festooned with Casa Sanchez's familiar logo. Nice, very nice.
Papalote: As fine as Papalote’s chips are, they’re clearly just a platform for their peerless chipotle salsa. But since society frowns upon drinking salsa straight from a jar, chips here are a must.
Cuco’s: Here’s another taqueria that homebrews their own crunchy side-snacks. Their chipwork may be the chunkiest available anywhere in town. Better yet, the things taste real good.
El Metate: While certain members of the San Francisco burrito-eating community prattle on about El Metate’s tacos, burritos, and quesadillas, we’ve always been bigger fans of their crunchy intro-food. Goes great with salsa! Try it sometime.
Zona Rosa: Chips here are every bit as delicious as those found at Papalote. Problem is, Zona Rosa’s squeeze-bottle sauce is the joke of the San Francisco taqueria circuit. Solution: Eat ‘em straight.
Finally, we’d be remiss if we didn’t expose a few local taquerias with the repulsive arrogance to actually charge consumers between 75 cents and one whole dollar ($1.00!) for chips and/or salsa:
Palapas Taco Bar: Come on.
360° Gourmet Burritos: Oh come on.
Nick’s Crispy Tacos: COME ON, MAN!
Alex Gourmet Burrito: Get real, Alex!
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NOVEMBER TAQUERIA VISITS
11/28: Nothing warms a chilly November night like a hot slab from Taq. El Farolito in the Excelsior.
11/24: Our panel made a concerted effort to avoid any and all mall taquerias on The Biggest Shopping Day of the Year. Crowds were light at Casa Mexicana on Church.
11/20: So chic! No, not our panel’s fashion sense, but rather, our dining experience at the new Andalé below Bloomingdale’s. Very sophisticated.
11/15: Papalote, don’t preach. In a Scrum this competitive, there’s no shame in getting collared with the silver medal.
11/13: Comeback burrito shop of the year. Potential 2006 Slab Scrum champion. Gordo Taq., Inner Sunset edition. Learn about it.
11/9: Gordo Taq.’s favorite White Album track? Clearly, it’s “Revolution 9.”
11/6: Fair warning to our out-loud readers: The tale of our latest Papalote excursion begins with a brief tongue twister. Best of luck with that.
11/3: Although Taq. El Castillito’s latest effort certainly didn’t suck in the least, it was still the Church St. juggernaut’s poorest showing on Burritoeater record in over a year.
Our editorial crew receives inquiries from time to time as to which San Francisco slab palaces feature the finest in fried, crunchy tortilla wedges. Granted, a number of places will always paint by numbers and go the 60 lb. bulk bag route, and while the quality of these jumbo sacks can range from serviceable to out-and-out ghastly, the subtext between the lines is achingly clear: Here! Eat something, anything, other than your hand, before we deliver your burrito to your table in a couple minutes.
But there are those who place a premium on the goodness of chips served during a San Francisco taqueria experience, and that's perfectly alright - we salute you and your beloved, oft-triangular snacks. Don't forget your molars as you visit our favorite chip-dealers in town:
Casa Sanchez: The chips made at this family-operated taqueria are as good as they come, in our book. They’re also for sale in full-size bags festooned with Casa Sanchez's familiar logo. Nice, very nice.
Papalote: As fine as Papalote’s chips are, they’re clearly just a platform for their peerless chipotle salsa. But since society frowns upon drinking salsa straight from a jar, chips here are a must.
Cuco’s: Here’s another taqueria that homebrews their own crunchy side-snacks. Their chipwork may be the chunkiest available anywhere in town. Better yet, the things taste real good.
El Metate: While certain members of the San Francisco burrito-eating community prattle on about El Metate’s tacos, burritos, and quesadillas, we’ve always been bigger fans of their crunchy intro-food. Goes great with salsa! Try it sometime.
Zona Rosa: Chips here are every bit as delicious as those found at Papalote. Problem is, Zona Rosa’s squeeze-bottle sauce is the joke of the San Francisco taqueria circuit. Solution: Eat ‘em straight.
Finally, we’d be remiss if we didn’t expose a few local taquerias with the repulsive arrogance to actually charge consumers between 75 cents and one whole dollar ($1.00!) for chips and/or salsa:
Palapas Taco Bar: Come on.
360° Gourmet Burritos: Oh come on.
Nick’s Crispy Tacos: COME ON, MAN!
Alex Gourmet Burrito: Get real, Alex!
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NOVEMBER TAQUERIA VISITS
11/28: Nothing warms a chilly November night like a hot slab from Taq. El Farolito in the Excelsior.
11/24: Our panel made a concerted effort to avoid any and all mall taquerias on The Biggest Shopping Day of the Year. Crowds were light at Casa Mexicana on Church.
11/20: So chic! No, not our panel’s fashion sense, but rather, our dining experience at the new Andalé below Bloomingdale’s. Very sophisticated.
11/15: Papalote, don’t preach. In a Scrum this competitive, there’s no shame in getting collared with the silver medal.
11/13: Comeback burrito shop of the year. Potential 2006 Slab Scrum champion. Gordo Taq., Inner Sunset edition. Learn about it.
11/9: Gordo Taq.’s favorite White Album track? Clearly, it’s “Revolution 9.”
11/6: Fair warning to our out-loud readers: The tale of our latest Papalote excursion begins with a brief tongue twister. Best of luck with that.
11/3: Although Taq. El Castillito’s latest effort certainly didn’t suck in the least, it was still the Church St. juggernaut’s poorest showing on Burritoeater record in over a year.
